Disclaimer: I super hate math and will go to great lengths to avoid it. My college offered two grade forgiveness opportunities throughout students' four-year run, and I used both of mine on the two math classes my journalism degree required me to take. Like I said, I super hate math, and it super hates me back. Some people would argue that math is beautiful because of its universal truth, yadda yadda, blah blah blaaaaah. Not here for it. What's worse than straight up numbers and all the little make-believe symbols that go along with those numbers are word problems. You see, word problems take something that actually is beautiful—words—and perverts them into a form designed to warp and melt your brain. A very current example of highly upsetting word problems is this impossible math problem from Singapore that's currently going viral, and currently making me hate my life. The worst part? It's designed to be solved by a tiny human who is only 10 or 11 years old. What is this world? I don't even want to procreate anymore with injustice like this happening in school systems.
UPDATE: New information surfaced that debunked the part about the problem being for normal 10-year-olds. It's actually a question designed for a math olympics. That's right: a special competition designed to seriously challenge math skills, aka, my actual worst nightmare. Pairing horrible, horrible math with the insinuation that physical exercise is also somehow involved? Nope! You can keep it. Keep all of that. I want none. Here's the question in all its troubling glory:
Some questions: Why doesn't Cheryl just list her birthday on Facebook instead of torturing her new friends? Does she expect these new friends to ever become just "friends" with all her mean word wizardry? I hate Cheryl. And I hate this word problem. I can think of five things we should all do instead of letting this atrocity rule our day and tear people apart:
Taxes
Seriously, it's April 13th and if you haven't already filed your taxes, I'm panicking for you.
Clean your bathtub
It's time. It's actually way past time.
Run a bath
Nothing fancy. Hot water in your now clean tub. Easy peasy.
Get into the bath
As quickly or slowly as you'd like.
Think about anything other than Cheryl and her stupid, mysterious birthday
Ideas include: Did you do your taxes correctly? Should you have bought the audit protection? How frequently do people get audited anyway? Literally anything other than freaking Cheryl.
I seriously hate Cheryl, guys.
Images: woodleywonderworks/Flickr; Kennethjianwen/Facebook; Giphy (2)
