High Heels For Babies Are Now a Thing

In case you haven't gotten your daily dose of "WTF" today, I come to you with the knowledge that high heels for babies are now officially a thing. Pee Wee Pumps are little stilettos for tiny fashionistas, ages zero to six months. They come in feisty animal prints, with names like Wild Child, Sassy, and Swanky, so your baby can be the belle of the ball... or just, you know, her crib, since that's where most babies hang out.

I can barely walk in heels. Babies can't walk at all. Who thought this was a good idea?

It's no secret we do some strange things to our kids, not to mention how absurdly early our society's ridiculous beauty expectations begin to set in, from coaching them on elaborate Pretty Woman dance routines on Toddlers and Tiaras, to the very fact that 50 percent of girls ages three to six worry about their weight.

While I admit that I'm a sucker for a sharply dressed tot (what, do they offer fashion design courses in preschool nowadays?), I think we should stop projecting all of our weird fashion trends onto them and probably just let babies be babies.

Think Pee Wee Pumps are just the beginning of bizarre baby fashion? Think again.

There's plenty more where that came from.

Baby Wigs

Baby baldies are so last year.

Bringing Booty Back Onesie

Well, at least it's better than the "I Hate My Thighs" onesie this company used to sell.

ToeBlooms

The "perfect addition to any outfit," apparently.

Flip Flops

For all those long walks on the beach.

Blowjob Onesie

In case there was any confusion about how this kid got here. WTF.

Baby Tie

Long day at the office, kid?

Hung Like a Three Year Old

Just... Why?

Images: PeeWeePumps.com (2), bubbababybuns/Etsy, WryBaby.com, ToeBlooms.com, darlinglittlebowshop/Etsy, Amazon.com, selenametts/Etsy, CafePress.com