Entertainment

What Your Favorite Phoebe-ism Says About You

by James Tison

As a 28-year-old, I can't remember life without Friends, to the point that until a few weeks ago I just assumed it had been with us since the beginning of time, airing always and forever in syndicated bliss. Friends seemed to permeate every facet of pop culture when it first aired, and there's no mystery behind its mass appeal: the six hilarious and wildly different personalities fronting the show navigated relatable challenges with a distinct lack of existential angst that is both entertaining and reassuring to this day. In a cast of memorable characters, none stood out more for me than Friends ' resident "weird one" Phoebe Buffay.

First of all, she had the darkest backstory of all the friends. While I appreciate the upbeat nature of the show, I always loved the borderline absurd trauma in Phoebe's past. In many ways, it gave her the confidence to cultivate such a spectacularly ethereal worldview and consistently march to the beat of her own, weird drum. She also had some of the quirkiest running jokes on '90s network television, and she just got more and more interesting as the years went on.

What made Phoebe memorable for you? Was it her hippy folk ditties? Her many aliases? ("I'm Dr. Phalange. Dr. Regina Phalange!") Well, I hope you choose wisely, because here's what your favorite Phoebe-isms say about you:

When Phoebe Cracks Wise About Her Dark Past

You like Phoebe for being a brilliant mixture of wisdom and denial. Some people think she's naive, but you know it's the savvier parts of her that keep her cracking wise about past trauma. Is she in on the joke? That's for her to know and for you to convince others is true.

"Smelly Cat"

First and foremost, you love a good folk song when you hear one. Second, if Lisa Kudrow had released an album of Phoebe Buffay songs you would have bought several copies given all of them to your friends.

"I Would But I Don't Want To."

Phoebe's not about BS, and neither are you. Sometimes Chandler needs to know that you just don't care what he's talking about right now.

When She Didn't Know Santa Claus Was Fake

You love that Phoebe sometimes has the innocence of a child. You also probably learned right along with her that Santa Claus isn't real.

Whenever Phoebe Was Unashamed Of Her Sexual Appetite

Phoebe never had any qualms with her libido, and you're attracted to her bold unapologetic nature. Who can blame you? Phoebe usually hit on whomever she wanted, whenever she wanted, and more often than not it went her way. Oh, Phoebe, if only I had your blind confidence!

The Lobster Metaphor

You appreciate the fact that even though Phoebe often presents as a world-weary cynic, she still has a romantic heart. Sure, she sees romance through the lens of an extended crustacean metaphor, but believes in love nonetheless.

Regina Phalange

You love a good recurring gag. This is my personal favorite Phoebe-ism because, in my eyes, the funniest thing about Phoebe is the oddball life of petty crime she seems to lead when she's not with the rest of the friends. "Regina Phalange" is her most common alias, and every time she whips it out she does so with the absurd confidence of a 1930s grifter.

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