Life

How To Host A Pizza Seance

by Pamela J. Hobart

Sometimes life presents us with incredibly tough choices, and by "sometimes," I mean "frustratingly often." That old magic 8 ball isn't going to cut it anymore, and it was long ago sacrificed to the garage sale gods anyways, so what's a girl to do? Well fret no more, because Free Art & Technology's "pizza seance" instructions are here, and they'll show you how to use a pizza for making major life decisions.

Don't worry, the pizza seance is an easy and elegant solution. As per New York Magazine's The Cut, all you have to do is order yourself a pizza with one crucial instruction. Choose a topping, and then special request that the topping be arranged in either a "Y," "N," or "M" shape on your pizza. Click submit on your fateful order and may the pizza gods be with you, because some minimum wage-earning teenager is about to (unwittingly) make that decision on your behalf.

Within the hour, the momentous pie will arrive at your door. Open the box with a certain gravity, check whether you've received a "yes," "no," or "maybe" toppings-borne message, and then just relax, because the pizza seance just made all your decision problems disappear.

If you're not quite comfortable with the pizza method (other than as a way to fill your belly), there's still hope. If the decision is personal or relationships-related, try thinking about your decision as if you were giving advice to a friend. When we're thinking about our own problems, they hit a little too close to home for clarity, so this layer of abstraction can often clear things right up. And if the decision is a purchase, try these tips to avoid making impulsive and regrettable shopping decisions.

But still order the pizza anyways, because you don't need to be wasting your cognitive energy on such minor decisions in any case. That's one decision that will never let you down.

Images: SolisImages/Fotolia; Giphy (2)