Life

Whiskey Tastes Better From A MarioKart Cartridge

Peers from my generation continue flipping and reversing classics from our shared childhood into adult-themed objects, and it's moderately inspiring. I'm not always on board, like when that dude made a real life Mario Kart Race track (mostly because I don't like to take my chances with acquiring bodily harm, which I think is legit). However, I cannot wait to get my bourbon-fueled fingers wrapped around one of these Nintendo cartridge flasks.

Matt Cornell rolled out Ink Whiskey, the company hawking these past-glorifying containers, in 2013. Ink Whiskey is another Kickstarter success story and its products are now available for purchase via ThinkGeek. As much as I love this idea and old-school Nintendo in general (I am actually in the midst of very strenuous Mario Kart Race training...so I can beat my partner's seven-year-old, but that part is less important), I can't help but wonder how discreet such an idea will come off. Isn't the whole point of a flask so you may carry hooch and no one notices? I mean, that's what makes them ideal for saving money while out (not that I ever have done or continue to do this, clearly) or sneakily spiking punch at a party (also...I have...never done this). All that aside, it'd at least be an adorable option while perched on a porch somewhere, enjoying a summer afternoon drankin', because, well, YOLO, right?

To be real, I'm surprised some '90s kids haven't found a way to craft and peddle Nintendo cartridge vaporizers or whatever. Free idea, y'all. (Though I do hope/expect to get a courtesy 'tendo vape for supplying the inspiration. That's surely fair, yes?)

Think about it. The names would be easy and could have a lot of room for variation. Off the top of my head, you could so puff-puff-pass from: Adventure Highland, Arkista's Smokering, Donkey Bong, DuckTokes (1 and 2)...these are basically writing themselves.

We've got the booze-containing quality down, geeks. Now I just need someone to develop a way to make this whole vaporizer dream a reality. Don't let me down, you creative little stoners, you.

(Available on Ink Whiskey, $20.)

Images: Agustín Ruiz/Flickr; Ink Whiskey (3)