Entertainment

Carlos Danger is Taking it to 'Real Time'

by Alicia Lutes

Anthony Weiner just can't seem to get enough of the spotlight. He's addicted to the very thing he claims to hate (the media), even though he also clearly loves it (see: dick pics). And now, just because he's way more of a narcissistic masochist than we realized: he's going to be on Real Time with Bill Maher this Friday, November 8, according to a press release from HBO. Because of course he is. Of course.

The artist formally know as Carlos Danger has had a roller coaster political ride, strapped in tight next to his best friend Megalomania. A once seemingly promising Congressman from New York, Weiner's social media junkling sent him packing in the most disgraceful manner known to modern politicos. But then of course, a seemingly out-of-the-question run for New York City Mayor turned into the ultimate commedia dell'arte.

But perhaps Weiner's a bigger, more literal masochist than we thought. According to an interview with GQ's Marshall Sella, all Weiniepoo wanted was a big of tough love. Apparently he wanted people to tear him a new one:

What people fundamentally misunderstood about Van Meter’s story, and therefore about the entire campaign rollout—according to Weiner—is that it wasn’t the piece he’d hoped for. He wanted something far worse.

"The problem was that the story was completely different from what we thought would be written," he told me. “I thought there’d be thousands of questions about the sexting. But there wasn’t a lot of conversation about that. We had a guy [Van Meter] who wasn’t tough enough. We needed someone to just tear away at me. And not someone who would do something sympathetic ... He wrote an aftermath story, about two interesting people. Later, I thought, 'We didn’t get this done. Of the hundred things we wanted to do, the one thing we wanted to accomplish was to get that out there!'"

But not so much that he thought to bring it up and do it himself, because that would require being proactive. And, well, outside of having pictures of his junk on hand to roll out at a second's notice — we imagine! — there's not much about this guy that screams "active and thoughtful" about the way he handles his business.

On the question of bringing up and tearing down the preconceptions about him, well, himself? He seems to have very little thought on the matter outside of when it's insantly brought up to him. "I should have!" Weiner said. "That’s on the list of the hundred mistakes you make in a campaign."

I'm starting to think Weiner gets off (literally and figuratively so... Ew.) on viewing himself as a martyr for some weird public shamecause. One can only hope Maher doesn't give him the satisfaction, and Weiner's left with blue balls for the remainder of his "career." Apparently he's taken a page from the Miley Cyrus playbook: