Entertainment

If The Other Avengers Were Receptionists, Too

by Orli Matlow

The already amazing Ghostbusters reboot is getting even better. It was already announced that it'd be directed by Paul Feig and star Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon, and Melissa McCarthy, but now we've learned that Chris Hemsworth will be in Ghostbusters , too. This is an exciting move, and it's ripe for comedy — Thor as a receptionist?! A lot of humor comes from countering expectations, and nothing is more surprising than Thor picking up the phone instead of his hammer. As Bustle writer Kadeen Griffiths wrote yesterday, "He is, essentially, exactly the kind of actor you would expect to be leading a new Ghostbusters team — not standing around in the background attractively answering phone calls and making appointments for that team." That surprise move is what's going to make his presence in the film both hilarious and powerful.

Hemsworth is clearly a talented actor, but it's about time that someone labeled People's Sexiest Man Alive plays second fiddle to an army of brilliant ladies. As we all know, many movies have featured women just to facilitate the actions of men, and it's a disheartening trend that's gone on for a long, long time. Now that we are going to get to see what it's like to have Thor as a receptionist, I couldn't help but wonder: what if any of the other Avengers had gotten the job, instead? What if Tony Stark, Bruce Banner, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton or Natasha Romanoff interviewed for the part of Ghostbusters' receptionist?

5. Iron Man

Tony Stark — genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist — would be pretty bad at the job, but greatfodder for office gossip. He is mostly incapable of everyday tasks. He depends on J.A.R.V.I.S. for things like turning off the lights, and he wouldn't know how to pick up the phone. Plus, Iron Man is an awful team player: the first movie was about teaching him to cooperate, and his insubordination in the sequel almost led to the END OF HUMANITY when he went rogue and created Ultron. And when it comes to running errands, he is probably the least fit of the team, flying around in his suit instead of running. His sass and epic one-liners would be fun to have around the office, but I wouldn't trust him to get much real stuff done.

4. Captain America

Even though the only experience with offices he has is jumping out of them, every office (every place on earth, really) should have a Captain America. He will be a great greeter, both in person and on the phone, and is so lovely and earnest that he would maintain great office morale. The only problem is — as we saw in both The Winter Soldier and Age of Ultron — he is skeptical of technology, and wouldn't feel comfortable putting documents in the cloud.

3. Black Widow

Widow would be subject to the sexist treatment that she gets in the Hollywood franchise. A trained assassin, she'd keep the office safe, but is too secretive and paranoid to be a welcoming presence. She can take calls and kick ass at the same time.

2. Hawkeye

Hawkeye harbors such an inferiority complex that his desperation to prove himself as valuable around the office would keep him on task. He has a wife and kids to come home to, and he would be happy to live a conventional life and not keep looking for trouble. He's not the friendliest, but would be decent at dispatching calls. Whatever he does, he does with utmost accuracy.

1. The Hulk

Bruce Banner is a sweetheart, and just wants to live a calm life without destroying any cities. Smart and kind, he would be an awesome secretary. Naturally, though, you would not want to see him angry, for the Hulk would tear up the place (though his strength would be helpful in changing the watercooler jug). A quiet, office life would be good for him, and he would be a great greeter and team player.

Images: Marvel Studios; Giphy (5)