Life

Snarky Birth Announcements Are The Only Way To Go

I feel like my entire brain and body has grown numb to all the Pinterest-inspired pregnancy announcements. I'm not dead inside, I just can't take another chalkboard scrawling seriously maybe ever again. I could be a cynic. I don't care because the whole practice has warped into a trite one, complete with gratuitous mason jars and Valencia filters. Well, not all parents are guilty of this Instagram feed poison. Some parents get it, and do us all the service of releasing funny pregnancy announcements.

I feel like to survive parenthood, you gotta have trace amounts of humor in those bones of yours. Can I get an amen on my hunch, parents? I know this truth applies to even non-parenting life because, well, sometimes you step in barf. It could come from your kid or your cat but either way, you can't really get mad at them and lash out, right? (Assuming in this scenario the barfing kid is not, say, an old enough teen who is a repeat floor-barfing offender. Then it's probably OK to be mad.) Patience and humor is immensely helpful for survival, so honestly, I don't see why everyone doesn't take this approach to pregnancy announcements. Anyway, here's some inspo for just that:

Bob Ross, take the wheel

Sonograms are tough to decipher anyway and this is the perfect commentary on that.

Two-timing

Neither sitch sounds bad, IMO.

Congrats! It's...a beer?

Solidarity, sister.

And it's...another beer!

#bless

Prenatal zombies

Wonder what that Lamaze class would be like.

Vanilla vibes

Talk about being under pressure.

Illuminati takeover

YES.

...Oh

Um...

Images: nomi_michelle/Instagram; Imgur(4)