Life

Girl Refuses To Let Family Sing "Happy Birthday"

Birthdays are a thrilling endeavor, and it's true even some adults find a way to punish their friends in a subtle and successful way by deeming a whole seven day stretch their "birthday week". Over time, life experience and increasing shame suggest we stop savoring our own personal holiday just a little less with each passing year. This 3-year-old is mature in that regard. One little girl refuses to hear the birthday song during her celebration this year, and honestly? It's inspiring for my upcoming and all future birthdays.

It's not that birthdays suck—it's more that it's a very forced focus of attention on an individual. Not every individual enjoys the spotlight hoisted over their aging bodies. Basically birthdays serve as reminders of the rapid passing of time. They are also helpful tools in reminding you just how many randos you Facebook friended while studying abroad. But besides the prospect of breakfast nachos sans judgement and possibly the day off from your soul-sucking cubicle job, birthdays don't stay exciting forever.

Neva, the little girl in this video, jumped aboard this bandwagon of birthday-loathing about 25 years early, so I don't think it's too far-fetched to call her a visionary in that regard. Her incessant refusal to hear let alone tolerate the classic birthday anthem is a passionate one.

It's your party and you can...deny everything if you want to?

Apparently, Neva's hesitation for musical accompaniment was because the cake wasn't properly finished being decorated yet. What would happen if the song finished and there were no candles to blow out? Probably, it'd all be over. All of it, everything. Considering that, Neva's actually a hero.

When performed, birthday songs, it seems, are ripe with possibility to ruin your life. Some examples:

This "Happy Birthday" fail

Shoutout to Phone Lady. At some point, we are all Phone Lady. Today I am Phone Lady.

This fire hazard

Man alive.

This hot mess

NO THANK YOU. Please note my intent to skip my birthday this and every ensuing year. I'll just stick with safe birthday standbys. Like 2 Chainz.

Images: YouTube(2)