Fashion
Your Authentic 10-Step Thanksgiving Dinner Guide: An Outfit for Every Dish
Don't get me wrong, I adore Thanksgiving, but it's not exactly full of surprises. Oh, you braised the turkey in rum this year? The sweet potatoes have a dash of turmeric? Do what you will with spices, but cranberry sauce and gravy are cranberry sauce and gravy, albeit with varying degrees of deliciousness, depending on how skilled the cook is.
What we desperately need here is a Thanksgiving makeover. And it doesn't have to involve food at all.
Image: Sharon Mollerus/flickr
The Table Cloth
Before the turkey, before the cranberry sauce, we must start with the cloth that holds the whole thing together (and that can, if strategically yanked, tear the whole thing apart).
Asos Smock Dress In Red Paisley Jacquard, $87.21 (on sale!), asos.com
The Napkins
If your grandma knows how to mix patterns like this (imaginary) Thanksgiving dinner table does, she is officially hip.
Asos T-Shirt Dress In Tartan, $59.62 (on sale!), asos.com
The Turkey
This turkey definitely spent a few too many nights at Studio 54. And now it must pay.
Oh My Love Feather Kimono, $26.70 (on sale!), asos.com
The Cranberry Sauce
A deep berry hue and lots of delicious lace. Do I detect — a hint of orange extract?
Free People Swinging 60's Dress, $118, freepeople.com
The Green Bean Casserole
They're tall, they're skinny, and they're green. All that's missing is the crispy onion topping.
Hudson Green Collin Skinny, $123, lyst.com
The Gravy
Like a truly quality gravy, this cotton nightshirt is smooth, silky, and faintly scented with sage... well, it could be, if you had some sage spray. No, I don't know if that's a real thing. I just want this shirt.
Only Hearts Organic Cotton Nightshirt, $81, onlyhearts.com
The Sweet Potatoes
Mm, a soft, fluffy, beta-carotene-hued cashmere sweater. PRO TIP: Do not top with nutmeg-spiced burnt marshmallows.
J. Crew Collection Cashmere Tunic, $298, jcrew.com
The Stuffing
Everyone knows good stuffing, like a warm winter scarf, is full-bodied and a little chunky.
Kikamade Knitted Cowl in Barley, $32, etsy.com
The Creamed Corn
What do grandpa sweaters and creamed corn have in common? They both sound kind of old-fashioned and unappetizing, but once you try them, you'll never want anything else in late November.
Asos Longline Cardigan With Faux Fur Front, $67.07, asos.com
The Pumpkin Pie
After all this figurative "clothing equals hypothetical dish" talk, I figured we could use something literal. Something to sink our teeth into. Figuratively!
Inedible Jewelry Pumpkin Pie Earrings, $26, etsy.com
