Entertainment

The Next 'Bachelor' Should Have Been A Nobody

You guys, I’m hitting a serious case of Bachelor fatigue. As a long-term fan, I’ve watched probably 80 percent of the seasons (100 percent is just too much, even for a super fan like myself), and I’m growing pretty tired of these boring contestants that turn into even more boring Bachelors. I mean, ABC and the producers of The Bachelor picked corn-fed Chris Soules to anchor a whole season! And that season of The Bachelor was one of the lowest-rated, viewership-wise, in the show’s history! Chris spoke probably eight words in the 15 episodes. Before Chris, Americans were subjected to Juan Pablo Galavis, who said “eetz ohkay” a lot and talked about himself instead of asking about the women he was supposed to be courting. He also slut-shamed one of his contestants — hard. Let’s dump the zeroes and at least try to find a new hero.

The newest Bachelor (which has yet to be 100 percent confirmed by ABC, but it's pretty much a lock — let's be real here) is Ben H., and as cute as he is, he's kind of boring. He's safe. He's very young. He's handsome, but not so much that it's unnerving. He's... meh. I'm not saying that I wouldn't take Ben as my boyfriend (he does seems like a delightful guy), but he's not what I want to watch on TV. I want drama! I want fireworks! I want someone I've never seen before as my Bachelor.

While this may sound hard to do, it is certainly not. There are millions of men all around the country (and probably the world) that would love to subject themselves to the craziness that is being on The Bachelor. There are princes, moguls, athletes, and actors, both famous and infamous, who would be thrilled to have their romantic endeavors taped. It’s time for The Bachelor to go back to its original plan of picking a different, unknown guy for every season, and here’s why.

The Bachelor Has No Diversity

It’s a long-standing complaint that everyone on both The Bachelor and The Bachelorette is attractive and white, and though the producers seem to try and shake off the complaints with a few token contestants of color (who get bounced really early), I say they go the Full Monty: Choose a Bachelor who isn’t white. An African-American or Asian-American (or whatever else you choose) Bachelor would shake things up for the show, and it would add the diversity street cred that the show so needs.

A Villain Would Shake It Up

Bachelors are nothing but nice guys, right? Nice guys, to quote Green Day, finish last. Let’s throw a complete jerk in as the Bachelor and see what happens. Let’s pick a fame-hungry douche from the onset (instead of learning eventually that the contestant is a fame-hungry douche) and throw him into a room with 25 unsuspecting ladies. Is it manipulative and a little crazy? Of course it is, but it would also make amazing television. The Bachelor could use a little must-see TV action.

The Guys We Know Are Predictable

ABC and The Bachelor producers have been picking former cast members as Bachelors and Bachelorettes a.) because they know what they are going to get from them rather than a wild card, and b.) because they think that fans are going to want to see their favorites find love. I think that familiarity breeds contempt, and we shouldn’t care so much about what the fans want. When Chris Soules became a Bachelor, I had already watched Chris Soules for 20 weeks (or whatever) on The Bachelorette, and well, I really didn’t care about Chris Soules anymore. Fresh meat, please!

The Bachelor Franchise Would Get A New Talent Pool

Speaking of fresh meat, The Bachelor/ette franchise is starting to look like the Real World/Road Rules Challenges of yore. It’s the same six contestants who do stuff every season. While I think that newbies should be chosen for Bachelor and Bachelorette positions, I didn’t say anything about Bachelor in Paradise or Bachelor Pad. Bringing new people into Bachelor/ette roles would widen the talent pool in the Bachelor community so that I don’t have to watch JJ try to win someone’s heart for the next eight summers.

So, Bachelor fans — who do you think should be the next Bachelor? Let’s petition the producers to get some new blood in there so next season is a completely fresh take on a very old show.

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