Life

10 Amazing Bachelorette Party Cakes That Aren't Penis-Shaped, Because, Yes, They Do Exist

I've lost a lot of time recently. Why, do you ask? Well, I realized a friend of mine from high school is a cake decorator. Sounds amazing, right? And it is, if by amazing you mean I spend hours and hours going through her cake albums on Facebook, doubling the (already worrying) amount of time I spend fantasizing about cake. It's a beautiful, delicious, waste of time. And I love it. As I'm sure you love cake as much as I do, I decided to bring you the best bachelorette cakes.

But when I looked for them, most of them were just dicks. And yes, some were amazingly realistic, or downright frightening, but I appreciate a bit of creativity. So none of these pics are a straight-up penis. Because, who knows? Maybe your Nana wants to come around to the bachelorette, and hopefully her eyesight is bad enough she thinks it's a veiny zucchini, but maybe it's not. Or maybe you're not one for cliches or cheesy traditions. So these are some of the best, family-friendly (mostly!) options I found for your bachelorette party.

Black, White, And Red All Over

A sexy, fun option from Pink Cake Box that will still be totally appropriate if your great-aunt decides to tag along. Would fit in especially nicely with a 20s theme! A good tip if you’re not looking for anything to bawdy is to look for some of the other themes and change the writing. Just remove the Happy Birthday and you’re good to go.

Image courtesy of Pink Cake Box

Cookie Monster

Some people aren’t cake people, (I know, the horror). If cakes aren’t your thing there are totally other options available. Sugar Dot Cookies makes some amazingly cute, wedding-themed cookies that can be personalized. Great for goody bags…and for eating.

Image courtesy of Sugar Dot Cookies

Dare I Ask

Even better, Sugar Dot Cookies also makes cookies to help you pop the question… to your bridesmaids. Note to my friends: Please provide cookies if you want me to be a bridesmaid. Or pizza. I will also accept pizza.

Image courtesy of Sugar Dot Cookies

The Naughty One

I said no all out penises but that doesn’t mean some won’t be a little naughty. If you want something x-rated but a little more imaginative, Custom Erotic Baking makes a great bed cake. Although most of their cakes on the website are very NSFW, it’s worth visiting just type Custom Erotic Baking once in your life.

Image courtesy of Custom Erotic Baking

Back to Nice

OK, back from the x-rated. Here’s a pretty, natural option from my friend at Moester’s Bakery Great option if you want something that isn’t too bridal-themed, but still with a bit of romance!

Image courtesy of Moester’s Bakery

Cake Pops

Another non-traditional option is cake pops, I found these delicious looking ones at Cakes By Robin. The best thing about these is they’re like donut holes— you can eat 2,000 of them and still be like “Wow, I didn’t have a donut! I’m so restrained!”. But these are way prettier.

Image courtesy of Cakes By Robin

By The Sea Side

A cake to match a destination theme! If you and your friends all decide to get away somewhere sunny, why not a cake to match? This is another Moester’s Bakery one that makes me wish I was at the ocean… eating cake.

Image courtesy of Moester’s Bakery

The Healthy One

Just a kind remember to eat your veggies, courtesy of Freed’s Bakery. I just think that if there’s not a chunk of man disguised as a dessert than I’m probably not getting married.

Image courtesy of Freed’s Bakery

The Classic

And finally, also from Pink Cake Box, the classic bachelorette cake (that isn’t just a straight up penis). A nice corset-number to help you embrace your Moulin Rouge side before tying the knot.

Image courtesy of Pink Cake Box

19