We usually associate flirting with being single; with trying to pick someone up. It’s the stuff of cheesy pickup lines or eyes across the bar or the right turn of phrase on the third date. We don’t usually associate flirting with long-term relationships — but that’s a mistake. If you and and your partner are both into flirting, then why not make flirting a part of your relationship for as long as you’re together? And if you’re looking for a place to (re)start, there are some basic sexy little phrases that can bring flirtation back to your relationship.

Of course, every couple has their own way of flirting. For example, one friend described her flirting style with her husband as “mostly joking inanely, poking each other, and sticking our tongues out.” Another, when asked, gave me a very specific suggestion related to the arousing nature of Game of Thrones.

When I flirt with my partner of five years, it usually involves me saying cheesy pickup lines and wiggling my eyebrows. He responds by rolling his eyes, amused, and kissing or hugging me. (So even if it’s goofy, I get what I want in the end.) We also banter a lot, sometimes in ways that other people might find abrasive, but in ways that we both find engaging. The things I love about him — his humor, his intelligence, his quick wit — all are on display when we flirt in this way.

And then there are the times when I just expose some part of my body — like my butt — to him, which is a totally other way of flirting. But even then I’m usually not being “sexy,” per se, even if “sexy” parts of my body are involved. Usually it’s kind of goofy, which is an important part of flirting, too. Flirting can feel kind of awkward and forced if you’re trying to be too serious about it. Acknowledging that potential awkwardness and getting goofy is a good way to get over the self-consciousness.

So while the best advice for figuring out how to flirt with your long-term partner is to think about how you flirt already, here are 11 phrases to get you started.