Do you have an image of the "perfect" partner? If so, you probably spend a decent amount of time wondering how you can meet that person. How can you snag the cute writer who loves books? Or that charming hiker who wants to camp on the weekends? Well, there's no one way. (Obviously.) But there are plenty of things you can do to be more attractive to the people you find attractive.
Of course, you should never create a new personality or fake an interest just to win someone over or score a date. But pumping up your personality and partaking in favorite hobbies certainly can help. "I don't see anything wrong with modifying your behaviors to attract the type of person you want to be with, as long as the modification is actually authentic and true to who you are," licensed professional counselor E.J. Smith, MS tells Bustle.
Apart from attracting them in the beginning, sharing interests and mentalities can make for a very healthy relationship. "Long-term successful relationships are built on many different things, but shared hobbies and interests are absolutely what keeps the friendship going in a partnership," says love and relationship coach Jessica Elizabeth Opert. "Like attracts like far more often then opposites attract in these particular 'types.'" With that in mind, read on for some ways to score yourself a date — and hopefully a partner — who will hopefully be your perfect match.
The Active Outdoorsy Type
There are so many things to love about "outdoorsy" folks. They're healthy, they're generally pumped full of happy endorphins, and they're always down for an adventure. If you want to attract a happy healthy partner who will be down to chill in the park, here are the habits you should adopt.
1. Get Yourself Out In Nature
This one is obvious, but if you want an outdoorsy partner you should probably make time to be outdoorsy, too. "It would ... help if you had similar interests in hiking, running, rock climbing, snowboarding or whatever the case may be," Smith says. So hop on your bike or go for a hike. You never know who you'll meet.
2. Be Ready For Said Hikes
It's way easier to be active (and attract active types) if you're prepared for an adventure. "Put your hair up and wear shorts and a tee," relationship expert Audrey Hope suggests. And buy some good boots that are comfy to hike in. You'll look the part and be ready for wherever the proverbial wind takes you.
3. Join An Outdoor Club
If you've been meaning to join an outdoorsy club, now's the time. "Spend time out in nature and be prepared to get dirty," Hope says. Check for local hiking or kayaking clubs, put on those boots, and get to it.
The Artsy Type
An artsy partner will introduce you to the coolest music, movies, and TV shows ever. They'll also be excited for trips to the museum and will totally "get" your obsession with film photography. To snag someone like this, do the following.
4. Learn To Loosen Up
Creative types are certainly driven, but they tend to have a chill go-with-the-flow vibe about them, too. They can be found hanging in coffee shops, schmoozing at a gallery, or working in some paint-covered overalls. To attract their attention, Hope tells me it's important adopt this mentality for yourself.
5. Start Making Friends In The Field
If you wanna date a fellow artist make it a point to go to First Friday art nights or gallery openings. "Make friends with other artsy folks and take your time exploring their circle/network," Smith says. "Don't necessarily try to hit on the artists, but just putting yourself in the space of like-minded people is a great start."
6. Let Your Personality Shine Through
While there's obviously no one "style" for artists, there's no denying it's easy to pick them out of a crowd. Sure, they're giving off that chill vibe. But they also tend to have a unique style that shows off their personality, Hope tells me. If you let this side of yourself shine through (cough, painted-covered overalls) you might up your chances of scoring an artsy date.
The Settling Down Type
If you want to meet someone who will happily adopt a dog (and maybe even have a baby someday), then you'll want to look for the "settling down" type. Here's how to find someone who will be down to talk about the future.
7. Stop Going To Clubs
There isn't any one spot you can find this type of partner, but there are places you might want to avoid. "People who are looking to settle down are not generally the people partying/clubbing until 3 a.m.," Smith says. While you can still go out dancing, don't rely on clubs to find a lifelong partner.
8. Brush Up On Your Adult Conversation Skills
Of course it's possible to joke around and be immature with a lifelong partner. But if you want to snag them, it may help to dust up on adult conversation. As Hope says, "You have to read the latest books [and] be up on politics." Those who are mature enough to settle down often make the time to stay informed, and you should do so, too.
9. Let Go Of Your Flaky Ways
When looking for a serious partner, Hope tells me you'll have to let go of your flaky ways. If they plan a date, show up on time. If you say you'll call, make sure you actually do. Since settling down types commit to their partners and stick to their word, flakiness will only scare them away.
The Hopeless Romantic
This is the person who shows up with flowers, plans elaborate dinner dates, and buys massage oils with the sole purpose of helping you relax. It's definitely nice to be with someone this thoughtful, so how can you snag him or her?
10. Make Romance A Part Of Your Life
If you're looking for a romantic partner, try making art and love and beauty a bigger part of your life. "Romantic types hang in beauty," Hope says. They'll be picnicking in the park, reading a book by the ocean, or sipping coffee at poetry readings. Go to these places and see who you can meet.
11. Drop Romantic Hints In Your Dating Profile
Jot down a list of things you find romantic — date nights, vacations, cooking, etc. Then, make it a point to weave these ideas into your online dating profile. As Opert tells me, it'll help you score a romantic type who will likely be looking to do the same types of things.
If you're looking for certain qualities in your next partner, it doesn't hurt to punch them up in yourself. If you want art, be artsy. If you want romance, be romantic. The right person will come along in time.
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