Life
Just because you've finally settled into the comfortable stages of a relationship doesn't mean it's time to stop putting in an effort to keep things exciting. You never want to feel your partner pulling away, and there are a number of daily habits you can do that will help keep the romance alive in your relationship. This doesn't mean you have to start doing things you hate or catering to your partner's every desire. Instead, it involves cultivating an ongoing intimacy that benefits both of you and keeps the relationship fresh.
"Humans love novelty," psychologist Kate Balestrieri, Psy.D., CSAT-S tells Bustle. "When we first start a relationship, everything our partner does is tolerable, adorable, and even sexy. After time, the novelty fades, and we are left with the familiar. Familiar is great. It allows us to go deeper into intimacy, and feel safe and secure. The catch-22 is that familiar can beget boredom. In order to keep that spark alive, a little daily elbow grease goes a long way."
The responsibility falls on both partners to keep a relationship chugging along nicely, but if you're not sure where to begin, there are plenty of little ways to do your part. Here are seven little daily relationship habits you can do that will help keep things interesting, according to experts.
1
Ask Questions About Their Daily Lives
Start by showing your interest in the form of questions about your partner's day. "Recognize what is important to them (whether it’s their work, friends, etc) and ask them about it," therapist Catherine Silver, LCSW tells Bustle. "Do that even if you aren’t necessarily that interested. If it’s important to your partner, it will mean a lot to them that you are making the effort to hear about it."
2
Do A Little, Sweet Gesture
"Do something little, to let your partner know that you thought about them," therapist Crystal Clancy, MA LMFT tells Bustle. This can be something simple like making them coffee or writing a note. Little acts of kindness can go a long way, and will be appreciated in the long-run.
3
Acknowledge Their Efforts
Let your partner know that you're grateful for some of the things they do for you. "Acknowledge the efforts your partner is making and tell them when something is working," says Silver. "People are usually more than happy to go out of their way for someone they care about if they know that it’s being seen, and the positive reinforcement can help the other person feel appreciated."
4
Show Them You're Thinking About Them
Show your partner that you’re thinking about them during the day, even if it's something quick. "That could be a text or a call, or even mentioning something at the end of the day that reminded you of them," says Silver. "You don’t want your partner to feel that your relationship is out of sight out of mind, even if you are really secure in the relationship together."
5
Have A Separate Hobby
"Its great if you have aligned interests, but when couples do everything together, they lose some of the individuation that once made them attractive to each other," says Balestrieri. "Our interests ignite passion and enthusiasm, which adds dimensionality (and novelty) to our personalities, and our partners will be drawn to that." So give each other space every now and again, then come back together to chat about your experiences.
6
Greet Each Other With Physical Touch
Each time you see your partner, greet them warmly, as physical touch is important to keep the spark alive. "Instead of rushing in to get to the next thing (making dinner, going to an activity, working out), pause and give each other a hug and a kiss," says Clancy. Of course, make sure this is something you're both comfortable with, but it's a quick, and easy way to feel connected.
7
Do Something New
Even if you can't take a big trip together all the time, plan some weekend trips or daily outings. "Experience the novel together for a blend of familiar and new to create cohesion and intimacy," says Balestrieri. "Couples who explore together learn new things with each other, navigate challenges together, and create memories that will last forever."
Each couple will have their own habits that work, but engage in these daily activities to help keep the spark alive for years to come.
