Entertainment
Spoilers ahead for You. Ever since Lifetime's thriller series You moved to Netflix, new fans have been gleefully discovering its bonkers storylines and outlandish characters. The show centers around a perceptive bookstore clerk named Joe (Penn Badgley), who's soon revealed to be a stalker. His subject of obsession? An MFA student named Beck (Elizabeth Lail). But no one seems to notice Joe's creepy tendencies except for her snobby literary heiress friend, Peach Salinger (Shay Mitchell) — yes, that Salinger. And since she's a descendant of book royalty, Peach's best lines from You are naturally eloquent, slightly inappropriate, and — above all — absolutely devastating.
Although J.D.'s descendant is affluent, snooty, and high-maintenance, Peach is also whip-smart and incredibly astute. She realizes that something's off with Beck's new boyfriend — or perhaps she's just jealous. As a result, she cuts Joe down with every chance she gets and continues to call him Joseph, despite his repeated requests not to. She looks down on his financial status and even takes a jab at his sex skills (or lack thereof, let's be real).
But Peach has a secret of her own: She's obsessed with Beck, too, and wants her for herself. All of this makes for an explosive Season 1 as You's storyline unravels, but before we get ahead of ourselves, let's simmer on Peach's best one-liners from this bonkers, addictive series.
On Beck's Expensive Gift to Annika
Episode 1: "Jason didn't even get her something that nice, and Annika finally let him do anal."
On the Open-Mic Night in Greenpoint
Episode 1: When Beck decides to get up onstage and recite poetry, Peach is clearly not on board. "What is she thinking?" she tells Annika and Lynn. "Open mics are for models/singer-songwriters/vegans. I mean, these people don't want to hear some wannabe read a poem about the bleakness of life or whatever."
On Brown University Alumni
Episode 2: "Make yourself at home," Peach tells Joe at her party, which she throws annually to distract herself from her parents' divorce anniversary. "Everyone here is friendly. Brown people don't bite." When Joe looks taken aback by her statement, she offers, "Alumni?"
On Dick Pics
Episode 3: "I don't get it — I mean, why do men think disembodied members equal foreplay? You know, they're not aesthetically pleasing."
On Her High-End Dietary Restrictions
Episode 3: "I have a rare, chronic bladder disease called interstitial cystitis," she explains to an unconvinced Joe. "Some people think I'm being uppity, but I can't have any fast food. And if I drink, it has to be a high pH, you know, like Ketel One or Goose and pear juice."
On Joe's Premature Ejaculation
Episode 5: "Runner's high is better than sex. And for some, may last longer."
On The Literary Agent's Drug Use
Episode 5: "I had no idea that he was using again," Peach tells her friend. "I mean, he's been clean since 9/11. Beck, when it happened, he was in an airport!"
On Her Cousin's Unusual House Guest
Episode 6: "Cousin Inez finally vacated the Paris flat," Peach tells Beck. "I talked to my dad; he said I could have it and oversee the renovation. She had a pet ocelot — there was damage."
Sadly, Peach's iconic one-liners stopped after Episode 6, when Joe took matters into his own hands. And although her unfortunate demise meant that audiences weren't able to hear any more of her witty comments, they can still appreciate the legend that was Peach Salinger.
