Marriage isn't for everyone. Thankfully, more and more people are realizing this — which makes it even more meaningful when people decide they want to get married. People are putting a lot of thought into what was previously done by default, and the moment they decide who they want to do it with is always a significant one.
There's no one way to know when you're ready to get married, but you should be sure your relationship has outlasted the honeymoon phase. "It’s important to find out the facts about your partner beforehand — and to also understand yourself — because the euphoria of new romance is the reason people say 'Love is blind,'" Tina B. Tessina, PhD, author of How to Be Happy Partners: Working It Out Together, tells Bustle. "In the hormonal rush of endorphins and oxytocin, as well as testosterone and estrogen that flood you when you’re first in love, realistic thinking tends to go out the window. During that romantic time of new love, it’s possible to overlook many things that can make a relationship difficult."
So, how do you know when you've found a love that lasts? Here are some ways women knew they were ready to marry their partners.
1
Lauren, 26
"When I saw firsthand how much he adored his mom."
2
Bridget, 37
"When he attended my family events willingly. My family loves him and I saw he’d be a good fit in my life."
3
Laurie, 39
"We went camping under a bridge where a river ran into the ocean. I pulled out the food I had marinating for dinner and started heading to one of the camp grills. He gave me a beer and asked me to prep something else. He walked to the river, grabbed some armfuls of river rocks, and proceeded to build a grill with them and cook my dinner on it. I was so turned on by [him], I was hooked for life."
4
ZJ, 26
"When we made the decision to move out of state together away from all of our friends and family to pursue our dreams."
5
Jess B., 29
"We drank a lot of absinthe and got into a debate about plastic cutlery for an hour. I couldn't see myself having that ridiculous of a conversation with anybody else in my life; that's when I knew he was end game."
6
Allegra, 28
"When he met my parents. We were living in Asia at the time and had only been together a couple of months. When my parents came to visit, my dad had left some important medication in the U.S. and my partner went to extreme lengths to try to help him to get them while abroad... I knew then that if I was on a sinking ship, he was who I wanted by my side."
7
Amy, 28
"Two weeks after meeting him."
8
Katleen, 29
"It all happened when we came across [each other] in a business meeting. ... The way he lead the team with his intelligence, those were the true attributes of a peacemaker. That's when I decided he is the only one."
9
Lane, 45
"I think I knew on our first date. He saw me at my job at Border's books and apparently thought I was enchanting. He had a friend who worked there, and she passed me his number, and I figured why not. We met for coffee, and were both feeling shy and awkward, and somehow we got on the topic of world music, and I expressed how much I loved Huun Huur Tu, this band of Tuvan throat singers. We got free copies of CDs that music companies wanted to sell at the store, and I had been digging through the box and thought the Huun Huur Tu CD looked interesting, and I was absolutely blown away by it. As soon as I mentioned it. his eyes lit up and he got all excited and we spent about four hours gushing about obscure world music, and how he'd been a professional Irish musician, and there was just this amazing bond.
I have never felt so comfortable with a man before or since. I had this feeling around him, like we had known each other in another life, like he was familiar somehow. And let me assure you, I am not the kind of person who believes in reincarnation or fate or any of that, but we both just felt so right with each other. I don't know how else to describe it."
The diversity of these stories just goes to show: There's no universal way to know when you want to get married. When you know, you know.
