News

Robert Mueller Is Getting His Own Action Figure & Here's How To Get One For Yourself

by Joseph D. Lyons

Forget Ruth Bader Ginsburg or other typical Democratic favorites — there's a new action figure in town, and he's running the Russia investigation. The Hill reports product incubator FCTRY is producing a special counsel Robert Mueller action figure that will be available in late spring or early summer 2019. You can pre-order your very own starting Tuesday.

Normally the design wouldn't be finished until after a Kickstarter campaign, but FCTRY writes on its launch page that the creators decided "due to National Security Concerns" to "start production on the Mueller Action Figure behind closed doors." According to the company, he's packing everything one would need to survive the political climate — or the action figure equivalent.

He has a lot of features that might not be obvious to the eye, given that the action figure is just the form of a man (who looks like Mueller) in a suit. The action figure has one "open hand, ready for the smoking gun" and the other has an "extended finger," which "pokes holes in flimsy alibis." Perhaps the most important feature, especially when investigating President Donald Trump, is that he wears "impermeable shoes in case of tweet storms."

Not all the action figure features make explicit fun of the president, though. There are others that have more to do with Mueller's personality. For instance, Mueller's strong moral compass, Purple Heart, and ability to keep secrets. Trump's doll, by comparison, has tiny hands with the middle finger raised.

The action figure is supposed to be the opposite of Trump. "He's the Batman to Trump's Joker. The Ness to Trump's Capone. The Bond to, well, every Bond Villain," the announcement page reads. "Basically, Robert Mueller is the anti-Trump."

That's why FCTRY turned him into an action figure, CEO Jason Feinberg said. "Mueller is literally the closest thing there is to an anti-Trump and he has come to symbolize all the virtues [President] Trump lacks — honor, dignity, integrity, ohh ... and silence,” Feinberg said in a statement to The Hill. "We’re legitimately excited about the real-life [Mueller] and what he brings to the narrative of these times."

The dolls are rather small at six inches tall. "The Robert Mueller Action Figure is a perfect size for all uses; whether you want to keep Mueller on your desk for all to see, or bring him in on your next investigation," the website reads. It also notes he'll stand up on his own for a picture and can be taken in and out of the box easily. The price sets you back just about $20 before shipping.

Kickstarters in the past have been required before production, like for RBG or Elizabeth Warren. The Ginsburg Kickstarter grossed $613,705 last year, hitting what was needed for production out of the park. (The goal was just $15,000.) The same can be said for Warren's, which launched a year earlier in 2017, at $161,206 — still far above the $15,000 minimum.

With Mueller, there's no Kickstarter necessary, so you can pre-order yours today.