Entertainment
Much has been said over the years about which Christmas movie is the best, but the debate stops here. There's only one reigning champion: I'll Be Home For Christmas is the best Christmas movie ever, and there are some simple (but extremely convincing) reasons as to why that's the case. We'll get to those reasons in just a moment. But first, take yourself back to the late '90s — it was a moment in time in which every girl of a certain age mourned the cancellation of TV show, Home Improvement, due to the loss of Jonathan Taylor Thomas from our weekly viewing schedules. Just a few years earlier, the actor had made us realize that cartoon animals could be worryingly attractive when he was the voice of young Simba in The Lion King.
Obviously looking to heal the hearts of '90s girls everywhere, and to capitalize on a little something we'll call JTT fever, Disney smartly went ahead and delivered unto the world the best Christmas gift: I'll Be Home For Christmas. Telling the story of a college student who celebrates the festive season a little too hard, the movie sees JTT playing a character who is forced to travel home from the middle of nowhere in the midst of a dire hangover. Without a single penny in the pockets of his Santa suit. And goodness, is it an absolute treat from start to finish. Here's a brief overview as to exactly why that's the case.
First, Relive The Wonder Of This Movie
Really soak it all in, guys. This one is an absolute gem.
Up To Speed? Good. Now Say Hello To JTT, Your Imaginary Childhood Boyfriend
JTT was the ultimate dream for every pre-pubescent '90s-girl. We all grew up confused by our attraction to an animated, baby lion in The Lion King, thanks to him. And in I'll Be Home For Christmas, this total babe continued to mess with our fuzzy feelings by throwing a Santa suit into the mix.
Strangely, He Even Looked Hot With Enormous White Facial Hair
Admit it, you felt extremely festive daydreaming about running your fingers through those artificial, curly locks. No judgment, guys. We were all thinking it.
The Movie Featured Some On-Point Romance
And Jessica Biel, who we all envied, and would continue to envy for the next couple of decades given her dating and then marrying a certain Justin Timberlake. Way to ruin all of our childhood dreams, JB.
The Movie Also Understood The Importance Of Christmas Magic
Admit it, you squealed with joy during this charming little scene as a child.
But It Also Knew Not To Patronize Those Of Us Old Enough To Know Better
If you were old enough to crush on JTT, then you were likely also old enough to know that (spoiler alert) Santa isn't real. And that most Christmas miracles that happen in life are the result of a man shaking fake snow out of a plastic box. Or something thereabouts.
The Movie Was Great As A Kid, But It's Also Relatable As An Adult
I'll Be Home For Christmas is the universal story of a young person who suffers a crippling hangover following a solid, festive sesh and who struggles to get back home after it. Who hasn't been there?
In Fact, The Movie Epitomizes The Torment Of A Christmas Hangover Perfectly
Real talk: The morning after every Christmas party, you're ultimately left feeling as though you're clinging onto the roof rack of life while wearing a Santa suit you don't even remember putting on.
Including The "Killer Buzzard" That Stalks JTT Through The Desert
Guys, the buzzard is a metaphor for the crippling fear you feel the morning after the night before. Did you dance on a table? Did you streak through the neighborhood? Did you drunk-dial all of your exes?! Begone, buzzard!
Hangovers Aside, The Movie Also Boasted The Best Supporting Characters Ever
The elderly women that JTT hitches a ride from are wonderfully hilarious. But let's be honest, they're also setting the bar pretty high for all of our squad goals of the distant future.
And Then There's This Guy Who Agrees To Be The Elf To JTT's Santa
Not only was he a hero, he also came complete with a generous selection of comedic facial expressions.
It's Also Stacked With Some Extremely Quotable One-Liners
"Santa just yammied in your handbag" is one of the finest lines of dialogue ever committed to film.
Not To Mention Some Gratuitous Nudity
This felt pretty risqué for Disney, but it was also totally embarrassing to see in front of your any member of your family as a child. We all snickered through the shame regardless though, because we're only human.
It Was — And Still Remains — The Best Christmas Film Ever
It's a veritable masterpiece. And if you don't agree, then you're about as silly as a pack of Santas tripping over their own suits and collapsing in a failed festive heap all at once.
Sure, we all wanted JTT for Christmas when we were children, and this movie only confirmed those feelings. But as we all grew up, it also became evident that I'll Be Home For Christmas is actually a pretty accurate reflection of the holiday season in your early 20s. An endless, joyful party, followed by a crazy, festive failure of a hangover.
So, if you find yourself feeling rough this festive season, then JTT is your boy. Throw on your Santa outfit and treat yourself to a viewing of I'll Be Home For Christmas. It's exactly as good as you remember it to be, if not better.
