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These Michelle Wolf Jokes At The White House Correspondents' Dinner Will Make You Gasp

by Chris Tognotti
Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

On Saturday night, dozens upon dozens of members of the media, political, entertainment, and comedy elite arrived in Washington, D.C. for the 2018 White House Correspondents Dinner, and just like every year, it was a much ballyhooed and closely watched affair. And despite the fact that President Donald Trump did not attend the dinner, he still got his fair share of jabs thrown his way ― mostly from the entertainer of the night, Michelle Wolf, whose White House Correspondents' Dinner jokes drew laughter, gasps, applause, and a lot of nervous giggles.

Just like last year, Trump decided to skip the dinner, and instead held a political rally in Michigan. This earned him some harsh criticism from Wolf, who prior to the big night accused the president of acting "cowardly" for skipping the event.

Once her routine got underway, you could definitely see why she wanted to deliver the jokes to him face-to-face. Many people on social media praised her hilarious, vulgar, and at times searingly pointed material as she viciously roasted many of the members of the media in attendance, as well as the Trump officials who decided to show up, like Kellyanne Conway and Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Here are some of the funniest and most scathing jokes Wolf dished out at the dinner.

You're Not Allowed To Grab

Wolf's previous taunting of Trump as a coward definitely continued when she took to the podium. She acknowledged Trump's absence at the dinner, and said, "I would drag him here myself, but it turns out the President of the United States is the one pussy you're not allowed to grab."

Wasn't Even In Contact With Michigan

Wolf didn't just take shots at Trump and the White House, to be clear ― she also got a jab in at the Clinton campaign. "It is kind of crazy the Trump campaign was in contact with Russia when the Hillary campaign wasn't even in contact with Michigan," she said, drawing bursts of laughter from the crowd.

Let's Get This Over With

Wolf's routine was decidedly heavier on the sex jokes than many hosts in years past. She set the tone at the very start of her set, saying "Like a porn star says when she's about to have sex with a Trump, 'Let's get this over with.'"

Maybe She's Born With It, Maybe It's Lies

Wolf had a solid minute and a half of particularly biting material dedicated to Sanders, who was seated just to her right throughout the routine. Her roasting of Sanders also included this line:

I actually really like Sarah. I think she’s very resourceful. Like, she burns facts and then she uses that ash to create a perfect smoky eye. ... Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s lies. It’s probably lies.

20 Years Too Old

The comedian also made a dig at Roy Moore, the former Republican Alabama Senate candidate who was accused by multiple women of initiating sexual relationships with them when they were minors. (Moore denies all allegations.)

"I’m 32," Wolf said, "which is a weird age — 10 years too young to host this event, and 20 years too old for Roy Moore."

Trump Has A Lot Of Ideas

Wolf's short set had many targets, but Trump was certainly her biggest. You might say Trump was there in spirit, if not in person.

Remember Mike Pence

While cracking jokes about Trump, Wolf also got a few in about Vice President Mike Pence. "A lot of people want to Trump to be impeached, I do not, because just when you think Trump is awful you remember Mike Pence," she said. "Mike Pence is what happens when Anderson Cooper isn’t gay."

You Guys Don't Do Anything

She also pointed that Democrats are harder to make fun of "because you guys don't do... anything."

You Should Feel Right At Home.

Congress wasn't spared, either. "Just a reminder to everyone, I'm here to make jokes," Wolf said. "I have no agenda, I'm not trying to get anything accomplished, so everyone that is here from Congress, you should feel right at home."

While her time was short (though definitely not sweet), it's safe to say that Wolf's set at the White House Correspondents' Dinner will definitely be talked about for years to come.