If you feel like you're in a sex rut — or think one might be coming on — you shouldn't be afraid to branch out and try new things in bed. Because even if only one of you is feeling a little "meh" about your sex life, it can have a huge effect on your relationship. “A relationship is like a bicycle, when one of the wheels is flat, it will still go, but not well," Eric Marlowe Garrison, sex and relationship counselor, and author of the book Mastering Multiple Position Sex, tells Bustle. "Even if only one partner is in that sex rut, it's going to affect the relationship sexually. When you need something that your partner doesn’t need, it's difficult to understand why they don't need it.”
So mixing it up can keep both of you engaged and enjoying your sex life — and an easy way to do it is by trying out new sex positions. The only problem is, if you take a look at the Kama Sutra, or any sex position list on the internet, it can get intimidating real quick. So many of the sex positions look intimidating or just straight up bizarre. But don't be put off, because some positions that look weird and scary are actually pretty great once you give them a go. Here's what you should try.
1
Lotus
How To Do It: Firstly, it may take a try or two (and some lube), so don't worry if you don't get it right away. Your partner should sit cross-legged on the bed while you slowly lower yourself down onto them, guiding them inside of you. Once you get into a comfortable position, wrap your arms and leg around them.
Why It's Actually Kind Of Great: I know, it looks like you just kind of... sit there, but that's actually one of the nice things about this position. It's a pain to get into, but then there's really intense penetration with plenty of opportunity for clit play — and it's very intimate, so you can connect with your partner.
2
Side Straddle
How To Do It: Straddling someone's leg might not be the first thing you think of as "sexy", but this position is a little weird in the best way. While your partner lays on the bed, straddle one of their legs while facing away from them. Low yourself down and — using lube if you have to — guide them inside.
Why It's Actually Kind Of Great: It's a really animalistic position without being as rough as doggy — and it gives them a great view while you get to be in control.
3
Tighter Doggy
How To Do It: Get into doggy style, but instead of the usual setup, make sure your legs are pressed together. Your partner will have to spread their legs a little wider and it might take some lube, but it should feel amazing once you get it right.
Why It's Actually Kind Of Great: Why would you want to mess with a position that's already as awesome as doggy? Well, this leads to a super tight fit. It's a totally different sensation — but you can still play with your clit to make it even more intense.
4
Butterfly
How To Do It: It can look scary having to lift your hips off the bed, but most of the work is done by your partner. Shimmy to the edge of the bed and rest your legs on their chest, maybe hooking them on your partner's shoulders a little bit for leverage. Then place your hands — and your partner's — on your hips to help them lift you up.
Why It's Actually Kind Of Great: It's definitely not boring and it gives both of you an unusual and sexy view of each other. Plus, it allows for really deep penetration — so this position has a lot to offer.
5
The Proposal
How To Do It: You both start on your knees facing each other, then your partner places one knee up and guides themselves toward you. Spread your legs a little and grab a pillow if you have to so you can find the right fit.
Why It's Actually Kind Of Great: It's super close and intimate, especially as you'll probably have to communicate to get it right. Once you're there, you can enjoy feeling connected.
6
Three-Legged Dog
How To Do It: Sex standing up is hard enough, but sex on one leg standing up is definitely a challenge. Stay close to a wall or something else to help you hold your balance, then hike one leg over your partner's hip. You may need to stand on something to even out your heights, so don't be shy about playing around.
Why It's Actually Kind Of Great: You'll feel like rockstars if you pull it off. And if you don't, you can still laugh it off together. Sometimes, it's good to challenge yourself.
7
The Splitter
How To Do It: This position is definitely less "Ow!" than it looks. Start in missionary and, as your partner sits back on their heels, lift up one leg as high as is comfortable and rest in on their chest. You can find an angle that works for you.
Why It's Actually Kind Of Great: It's an easy way to mix up missionary position and turn it into something totally different — and a lot more exciting.
Just because a position looks a little weird, doesn't mean that it can't be fun. Don't be afraid to give something totally new a try — and remember that you can adjust it to make your own version. It's all about finding something that's going to make you and your partner feel good.
