Books
Every year, the Lyttle Lytton contest challenges entrants to compose the worst first sentence that could possibly be written in the English language. The 2018 Lyttle Lytton Contest winners are absolutely hilarious, and you can read five of the funniest entries below.
Established in 2001, the Lyttle Lytton Contest takes its cues from San Jose State University's Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, which also tasks competitors with submitting their worst sentences for a shot at bad-writing glory. But where the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest allows entries of any length, with a suggestion that they max out at 50-60 words, the Lyttle Lytton Contest restricts possible winners to 2,000 characters or fewer. Both contests are free to enter.
There are 30 winners of the 2018 Lyttle Lytton Contest, including several that were submitted from actual books, articles, and journalism broadcasts. I can't list them all here, but you should definitely check them out on the Lyttle Lytton Contest website, where you can read winning entries from previous years as well. As an added bonus, if you're an Aspiring Author, reading the bad sentences that actually got published might just make you feel a little bit better about your own writing abilities.
Check out the five funniest winners of the 2018 Lyttle Lytton Contest:
"As I felt the vampire sexily drinking the blood from my neck, the warmth between my legs grew both in wetness and in fear for my life."
— Cole Borsch
"My lamestream friends told me to start dating again, but I knew the jet fuel of love couldn’t melt the steel beams of my heart."
— Klaus Virtanen
"Dany approached the castle. (If you've forgotten about Dany, reread books 3‑6). In her hand, she held the sword Justificier (reread book 7), still bearing the blood of Durin (reread book 9)."
— Jenny
"A tear rolled down her face like a tractor. 'David,' she said tearfully, 'I don't want to be a farmer no more.'"
— anonymous
