Entertainment

‘Pump Rules’ & Britney? It Doesn’t Get Much Better

by Kristie Rohwedder
Christopher Polk/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

Raise the SUR handkerchief dress flag, for another Vanderpump Rules vacation is underway. This week, Pump Rules stars Stassi Schroeder, Ariana Madix, Katie Maloney, Kristen Doute, and Scheana Shay all trekked out to Las Vegas to celebrate Brittany Cartwright’s birthday. What did the Bravolebrities do in Sin City, you wonder? Uh, only the best thing ever: The Pump Rules ladies attended Britney Spears’s Planet Hollywood residency.

The Pumpers and Godney Jean Spears? In the same room? Holy Hanky the swan. Does it get much better than that? The answer: uh, absolutely not. If I were to find out that Bravo documented this adventure, I would weep tears of joy.

Alas, my tear ducts should think twice before they hold their breath: Season 5 wrapped a while ago, and if Season 6 does happen, taping most likely won’t resume until this summer (aka Pump Rules filming season). So unless the show is secretly filming right now, we viewers probably won't get to watch this presumably magical evening unfold on Bravo. The social media posts are all we have.

Welp, consider my dreams dashed. (And yes, I do dream of seeing the Pumpers scream-sing along with Spears classics like “Stronger,” “Toxic,” and “Work B*tch.") I mean, I don’t know how much the Bravo cameras would be allowed to film, but the Pumpers could’ve shared cell phone vids they took during the concert. It really would’ve made for breathtaking television.

As far as b-day vacations go, Pump Rules cannot be beat: Schroeder’s birthday in Cabo San Lucas, Schroeder’s birthday in Las Vegas, Jax Taylor and Tom Sandoval’s birthdays in Hawaii, Madix’s birthday in Sonoma County, Schroeder’s birthday in Montauk — the show’s legacy is untouchable. And I'm confident Cartwright’s Piece of Me-tastic celebration would’ve been another birthday trip feather in the show’s cap. No one does a birthday jaunt better than the Pump Rules cast, no one rules The Strip harder than Spears, and nothing makes my heart warble louder than that pairing.

It's official: I am obsessed with Vanderbrit Rules (Pumpney Rules? Vanderspears Rules?). But come on, can you hold it against me?