A ‘Pump Rules’ Calendar Is Long Overdue

Ah, if it isn't time for one of my favorite rit-SUR-als. On Monday’s episode of Vanderpump Rules, Lisa Vanderpump rounded up the cast for the annual staff photo shoot. Per the queen of the Sexy Unique Kingdom’s request, the SURvers met at their place of work (how Season 1 photo shoot of them!) and posed alongside a fake roast pig, platters of chocolate cake, and bunches prop of grapes. Was everyone in various states of undress? You betcha. Ariana likened it to an awkward Christmas party, “except at this Christmas party, I have to be naked.” It was, as Lisa put it, a “salivatingly salacious” work event.

Are the photographs breathtaking, you wonder? Uh, is a goat cheese ball best deep fried? I know I say it week after week, but I cherish every last thing this show gives us. These photographs are no exception.

OK, I am going to ask the question I ask once a season: How and why isn’t there a SURver calendar already? Like, why isn’t Lisa taking the portraits from the yearly shoots and spinning them into calendar gold? It would be such a solid addition to SUR’s online shop. I can already picture it nestled between the limited edition captain hat and the SUR shot glasses, just waiting to be scooped up by Pumpaholics. I would buy at least two copies. You know, one for my wall and the other for my keepsake box.

I suppose I could always just drive to my local Kinko's and put together my own calend-SUR.