Life

Prepare To Lose All Your Money To This List Of Trader Joe's Top 50 Products

by Megan Grant
Joe Raedle/Getty Images News/Getty Images

Joe just turned 50 — Trader Joe's, that is. I know, I know. He looks amazing for his age. To celebrate the anniversary, Trader Joe's top 50 products, selected by customers and team members, were featured in the Fearless Flyer newsletter; and now I'm hungry.

TJ's has stolen our hearts for years (50, to be precise) with its Hawaiian vibe, innovative snacks, hard-to-find treasures, and killer prices — something they accomplish by buying directly from suppliers, bargaining for better deals, buying in volume, nixing additional fees for suppliers, and keeping their own costs low, which means a better price tag for you.

Their actions paid off; and what started as a small chain of convenience stores in 1958 (#throwback to Pronto Markets!) evolved into the Trader Joe's we all know and love today. Joe's is known for offering the best prices on items you'll have a hard time finding elsewhere, employees who always look happy (seriously, no one else loves their job that much), and perhaps the most dangerous dessert section of any grocery store in the United States.

Although my beloved plantain chips didn't make the list (what were you guys thinking?), TJ deserves a huge shoutout. In honor of Trader Joe's 50th anniversary celebration, here are the fans' top picks for their 50 best items. Happy Birthday, Joe!

1

Brewed Ginger Beer

Ginger beer for the win! This is always a good idea.

2

Organic Tea & Lemonade

The little man on the bottle is impeccably dressed, so you know this stuff is legit.

3

Just Mango Slices

Fruit in a bag! We love it.

4

Wish Flower White Wine

It's wine. Wine is grapes. Grapes are fruit. Fruit is healthy. Wine is healthy.

5

Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky

Bottoms up! Joe's always has good adult beverages.

6

Mango & Sticky Rice Spring Rolls

7

Unsweetened Golden Oolong Tea

This makes for the perfect midday pick-me-up.

8

Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

Peanut butter and chocolate: the best food combination known to mankind.

9

Organic French Roast Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Don't you want to get naked and swim in it?

10

Red Refresh Herbal Tea

Let's be real: we'd buy this just because the box is pretty.

11

Restaurant Style White Corn Tortilla Chips

Restaurant style but better, because it's Joe's!

12

Pretzel Slims

Slim pretzels means you can eat them with extra dip.

13

Gochujang Flavored Almonds

10 bucks says no one even knows what this name means but they eat it anyway because it's from Trader Joe's and it's amazing.

14

Triple Ginger Snaps

Appropriate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

15

Spatchcocked Lemon Rosemary Chicken

The name makes me giggle, but this chicken is no joke.

16

Pita Bread

Everything is better in a pita pocket.

17

Cold Pressed Lemonade — Matcha Green Tea

18

Gluten Free Cheese Pizza With Cauliflower Crust

This gets 10 thumbs up, because gluten free pizza is always dope AF.

19

Dark Chocolate Almonds

Dark chocolate is considered a powerful health food, which means you can eat as many of these as you like.

20

All Natural Chicken

Cook 'em on the stovetop with a little bit of Joe's EVOO, and life is complete.

21

Kohlrabi Salad Blend

Anti-salad people, rejoice! There is a salad for you.

22

Crispy Crunchy Chocolate Chip Cookies

Be careful with these — your fingers will hit the bottom of the container before you know it.

23

Five Seed Almond Bars

24

Mozzarella Cheese Log

Yes, it's meant for slicing. Or you can just, you know, eat it whole. Whatever...

25

Mandarin Orange Chicken

Your friends will think you are the ultimate chef. Thanks, Joe!

26

Mini Ice Cream Cones

In the language of ice cream, "mini" means you get to eat two.

27

Peanut Butter Filled Pretzels

Please don't leave me alone with these.

28

Organic Sriracha And Roasted Garlic BBQ Sauce

Things are getting out of control in here.

29

Seasoning Salt

30

Green Dragon Hot Sauce

A trusted source has confirmed that everything tastes good soaked in this stuff. You're welcome.

31

Corn and Chile Tomato-Less Salsa

Sometimes, it's just nice to mix things up a bit.

32

Cheddar Cheese

Cheddar with a twist! Innnnteresting.

33

Premium Salmon Burgers

You haven't lived until you've tried these.

34

Carne Asada Autentica

Let me think... yes, yes, and more yes.

35

Organic Midnight Moo

I'm not telling you to eat it straight from the bottle; I'm just telling you no one will judge you if you do.

36

Mozzarella And Tomato Salad

This is great for when you're feeling a little fancy and regular salad won't do the trick.

37

Plumcots

Get it? A plum and an apricot? LOL! Joe, you're the best.

38

Sweet & Salty Kettle Corn

Warning: you might devour the whole bag in one sitting.

39

Chicken Tikka Masala

No one will ever know it came frozen.

40

Sublime Ice Cream Sandwiches

So. Much. Chocolate.

41

Organic Broccoli Slaw

Even if you don't like broccoli, you might find you're down with the slaw anyway because it's just that good.

42

Organic Purple Maize Flakes

Don't these sound like a fun time? And look at the color!

43

Whole Milk Mango Kefir

This pairs beautifully with fresh fruit slices.

44

Grand Reserve Chardonnay Santa Lucia

Cheers to 50 years of delicious treats!

45

Bruschetta Sauce

Step 1: open container.

Step 2: stick your face in it.

46

Secco Mango Mangocini

47

Mediterranean Hummus

48

Organic Corn Chip Dippers

Organic means healthy — write that down!

49

Extra Virgin Olive Oil

Everything in life is better when it's cooked, doused, or dipped in Trader Joe's olive oil. This is science.

50

Organic Frosted Toaster Pastries

If you've graduated from Pop Tarts but aren't quite ready to let go of your favorite childhood treat, here it is organic, which means it's adult-friendly.

51

Bonus: Petit Reserve Meritage Paso Robles 2014

Wine is medicine for older people. Remember that.

52

Double Bonus: Drive Thru Red Dry Hopped Red Ale

Joe's knows how to quench our thirst.