Life

Urban Outfitters Is Selling Giant Unicorn Heads & You Won’t Be Able To Look Away

It's been a minute since I've checked out Urban Outfitters' website, and it looks like things are a little...different. In addition to cute crop tops and sundresses, Urban is now selling giant unicorn and alpaca heads for interested parties. Everybody has their own thing, I guess, though I'd much prefer a real alpaca (they're so sassy!!!!) to a stuffed head for my face. But, you know, fashion!

Indeed, according to Urban Outfitters' online store, the giant alpaca head is made of 100 percent polyester, and is on sale for $49.99, down from $69 — a steal! If that's not enough to entice you, here's the description:

Delight everybody by showing up to the party as a cute, cuddly alpaca! In a super plush and roomy construction with a hidden mesh eye hole and opening you can drink through underneath the snout.

It was about time someone constructed a plush alpaca head that was conducive to imbibing. The giant unicorn head, meanwhile, is also on sale for $49.99, down from $69. It too features "super plush and roomy construction with a hidden mesh eye hole and opening you can drink through underneath the snout," but comes with the added bonus of a unicorn horn, so really you're getting more for your money.

Here's the alpaca head in action:

And here's the unicorn, which is clearly party-ready.

Unicorns are truly having a moment. There's the unicorn horn store near my subway stop, which is allegedly not a front for some kind of local governmental corruption, suuuuuuure. There's the advent of the Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino, good for both Instagram likes and an unsettling blood sugar spike. Then, there's German retailer Get Digital's new unicorn toilet paper, which exists for reasons that are beyond my comprehension, but hey, toilet paper comes in many uses (for instance, I use it to plug up the holes between my air-conditioner and my windowsill, which I maintain is NOT WEIRD).

Last but not least, there's this life-changing Sam's Club rainbow unicorn pool float, on sale for a mere $140 for members. The float has horns, wings, and room for six people and their pool beverages, which is more than you can say for any of my unicorn-splattered Lisa Frank lunchboxes.

Now, for a mere 50 bucks, you too can be a mythical, single-horned beast with silvery blood that brings Voldemort back to half life, and you can do it while wearing a Junk Food graphic tee and a pair of Levis shorteralls. Who says unicorns can't be stylish!

As for the alpaca head, well, I'm not certain that's a trend yet, though it might be in circles different from the ones I run in. Still, alpacas are South American's greatest treasures, particularly when they are soft, cuddly little babies. Alpacas provide wool, transportation, and endless entertainment, and they are very good at spitting. Since this Urban Outfitters alpaca head comes with a mouth hole, you can mimic a real alpaca by chewing your food, mixing it with cud, and spitting it at the nearest lost American tourist in Cusco, and/or child.

Both the alpaca head and the unicorn head are available in Urban's Fun + Games section, with other items of note including a What Do You Meme game; Moxi suede roller skates; a $60 pool float shaped like a leaf (definitely not as good as the unicorn float, sorry!); a keychain with a srichacha bottle attached; a pineapple-shaped beach towel; a glitter unicorn pool float (still not at the party float's level, but getting closer); an eggling planter; and a pack of Bob Ross-themed playing cards. There's really something for everyone here, especially if your friends are, say, space aliens.