Life
What do women find sexually arousing? Of course, it'll always depend on the individual. But a 2009 study on porn and arousal published in the U.S. National Library of Medicine National Institutes of Health had some interesting insights on the differences between how men and women get turned on. Researchers found that men were aroused by the content they saw, while women found arousal in the context of the story than what the porn was visually offering and, because of this, their responses varied in comparison to men. Basically, the study revealed that if you want to sexually arouse a woman, it may be wise to add a little creativity to the mix. This is where Gina Gutierrez and Faye Keegan come in and save the day.
Considering research has shown that 90 percent of women use “mental framing,” also known as scenario conjuring, to get aroused, the Gutierrez and Keegan realized this was something they could use to help other women get turned on in ways that are more fitting to what women need. With this in mind, Dipsea was born.
Dipsea is an app filled with short audio stories — which range from five minutes to 20 minutes in length — with one aim in mind: to sexually arouse women.
“For far too long, sexuality has been defined by men, as physical, rather than mental,” Dipsea’s creators, Gina Gutierrez and Faye Keegan, tell Bustle. “And we’ve heard so many women question whether something is wrong with them because they don’t get spontaneously horny, or because things need to feel really right for them to access their sexual feelings.”
As someone who’s far more turned on by words than visual stimuli, I gave the app a try. With a long list of scenarios to turn me on, I was in heaven. Here's what my experience was like:
1
I Feel Like It Really Understood What I Wanted
When I masturbate, if I don't watch porn, I use, what I now know is mental framing. Whether it's a hot scenario from my actual past or a scenario I'd love to find myself in, everything is pulled from my mind. But on days when I'm stressed or distracted, trying to get myself to that place of being aroused isn't easy. With Dipsea plugged into my ears, I was able to block out the BS of the day and get lost in sexual scenarios that, to be honest, I'm still waiting to happen in real life.
As someone who tends to take the submissive role in my sex life, there was no shortage of stories that involved some level of dominance. Also, maybe it was just me, but the man's voice in my favorite story, "Listen to Me," sounded like Armie Hammer, so that was a bonus. But perhaps that was just wishful thinking on my part.
For women who aren't sure what turns them on just yet, I can see Dipsea being a breath of fresh air.
2
It Gives You A Sense Of Empowerment
All those times my partners would want to watch porn to get turned on just never did it for me. Don’t get me wrong — there is porn out there I genuinely love, like Erika Lust’s XConfessions, but what turns me on and what has turned on my male partners were far from being the same thing.
Dipsea and I were on the same page because, well, I was the one who was choosing what I wanted. I chose what stories fit my mood and fit what I needed to hear at that moment. And, what I loved, was the build-up that came with the stories I listened to (full disclosure: I didn't listen to every single one, because there were too many of them), making for the perfect amount of foreplay. Sadly, I can count on one hand how men I've been with who actually engaged, willingly, in foreplay. But with Dipsea the foreplay was there. My brain was tickled with words, then my body followed suit and all because that's what I chose for myself.
3
It's Made For Women, By Women
As more women are getting involved in making ethical pornography, and more women-run sex tech are companies popping up, it seems we're in the midst of a new type of sexual revolution.
"Just like women have new access to a suite of amazing sex toys really designed [for] them, we believe they should also have access to content that stokes the fire of their fantasy lives and sets the right kind of mood," Gutierrez and Keegan say. "The fact that 90 percent of women are already using mental framing, or scenario conjuring, to get turned on shows that the brain really needs love and attention too."
As a woman, I can say, without a doubt, my sex life and masturbation game have been far more fulfilling in the last few years since all these women have joined the industry, putting the needs of women front and center.
4
There Are So Many Options
Although I identify as straight cis-gender woman, there were enough options that if I wanted to explore other scenarios, it was all there. From Quickies, to Relax and Unwind, to Date Night Pregame, to Queer Stories, and more, there's something for everyone. You can find scenarios that include threesomes, group sex, dominance, teasing, bi-curious — and the list goes on.
5
It's Another Way To Practice Self-Care
If unwinding with some erotic audio and my favorite sex toy in hand isn't the very definition of self-care, then I don't know what is.
Since I'm on a dating and sex hiatus, Dipsea felt like a hot bath followed by a massage — all through the magic of words. Although I mostly used it at night as part of my relaxation ritual, I also used it a few times in the morning to give my day a bit of a kick. When you start your day with an orgasm, it definitely gives your confidence a boost and you take on the day in a way that you just don't on days where you skip the orgasm.
If you're someone who enjoys words and dialogue over visual stimulus when it comes to be sexually aroused, then I'd say Dipsea is worth giving a try.
