The holidays are inching ever closer, and you're in the market for a gift for your partner. Sure, there's that drone they pointed out in September, or that phone-charging lamp they wanted for their bedside table, but then there's that whole other category of presents — the "sexy gifts for your significant other" category. It's common to be a little hesitant about venturing into this realm, but according to relationship and sex experts, naughty or passionate gifts really have the potential to bring the two of you closer together, both inside the bedroom and outside of it.
That's why I got in touch with Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist and relationship therapist in Sonoma County, California. Dr. Carla specializes in sexual and intimacy issues, and was more than willing to share her great gift-choosing insights with me.
"When we are open about our sexuality and our desires, we pave the way for great sexual intimacy and deeper connection," says Dr. Carla. "A thoughtfully chosen sexy gift immediately sends the message, 'I find you desirable. Let’s get passionate!' Standard gifts like tools, clothing, gadgets can be loving and thoughtful, but they don’t stimulate the vital sexual connection element of a relationship." Check out her top recommendations that she offered up.
1
Try Out A Healthy Massage Oil To Encourage Bonding
Desire Sensual Massage Oil, $18, Amazon
"Massage oils are a tried and true gift to promote passion. Not only do they encourage bonding through physical touch, but they encourage spending time together through massage and play," says Dr. Carla. She recommends trying out a food scent, such as vanilla, as it can act as an aphrodisiac.
This Desire Sensual Vanilla Dream Massage Oil has great all-natural ingredients that hydrate and nourish skin, feel smooth instead of sticky, and come in a convenient pump bottle to get things started. "Massage oils with a base of sweet almond oil or grape seed oil can be terrific," Dr. Carla advises. "Given that the skin absorbs the oils quickly, it’s important to use 100 percent pure oils."
2
Purchase A Prelude To Passionate Time Together
Sisters In Spa Bath Bombs, $26, Amazon
"Bath and shower products can be a wonderful prelude to passionate time together," says Dr. Carla. "Sexy packaging and scents can stimulate libido. The mere hint of the 'fun to come' can make a pre-intimacy shower or bath a passion-building delight of its own." These Sisters In Spa bath bombs are made from natural ingredients and feature essential oil blends to help your whole body relax, unwind, and submit to romance.
3
Rekindle Memories From Your Early Dating Days
Book of Us, $14, Amazon
"When in doubt, try to remember what your lover found exciting in the early stages of your relationship; rekindling memories from the past can help ignite wild, passionate energy," says Dr. Carla. Of course, everyone can use a good reminder every now and then, so if you're having trouble remembering, this Book of Us journal has 150 thoughtful questions that prompt you to relive your memories together. Reviewers say it makes a great gift — either blank or filled out — and that it's a great way to rekindle that early passion.
4
Never Underestimate The Power Of Food
The New InterCourses, $25, Amazon
"Never underestimate the power of food when it comes to enhancing passion," says Dr. Carla. "Certain foods, such as chocolates, figs, almonds, pomegranates, avocados, watermelon, and ginger actually contain libido-stimulating elements, so it’s a win-win to focus on the natural power of these natural foods!" The New InterCourses is a cookbook that utilizes the power of aphrodisiacs to bring you closer in the kitchen. It covers 19 sensual foods, and the recipes are actually really fun, informative, and delicious.
5
Try Incorporating A Sex Cushion For New Positions
Liberator Jaz Motion, $59, Amazon
According to Dr. Carla, it's all about preference. "I’ve found that some clients have no interest in sex cushions (or find them uncomfortable to use); others find them a great asset. Overall, sex cushions can be a great asset for couples who truly enjoy the art of making love." The Liberator Jaz Motion is a great starting place because it provides comfortable yet supportive positioning for new moves, improved angles, and an entirely new experience in bed. It's also got a removable and washable cover to keep things sanitary.
6
This Simple And Gentle Water-Based Lubricant
Kama Sutra Love Liquid Lubricant, $14, Amazon
"Many products are available, but Kama Sutra lubricants are truly excellent!" says Dr. Carla. This Kama Sutra Love Liquid lubricant is water-based, tasteless, odorless, and non-staining, so you won't ruin your sheets when you get between them. It's great for sensitive skin because it provides a smooth, effortless feel without any unnecessary fillers, and it works wonderfully alongside condoms and toys.
7
Explore Your Sensuality With A Vibrator That Has Interchangeable Heads
IMO Magic Wand AV Massager, $44, Amazon
"A basic vibrator is also a wonderful toy for couples who are exploring sexuality and sensuality; by exploring a lover’s various erogenous zones — and truly taking the time to notice what makes your lover moan — the sex toy becomes a form of increasing emotional and sexual connection," says Dr. Carla. The IMO Magic Wand AV massager has seven speeds and four different heads to stimulate any part or partner. It's also rechargeable, safe, easy to clean, and a definite favorite among reviewers.
8
Ignite The Passion With This Dice Game
Upscale Sex Dice Game, $20, Amazon
"Sexy word cube games can be great passion igniters," says Dr. Carla. "[They] can stimulate conversation and sexual energy!" This upscale sex dice game has two different die for words, but it also comes with two more picture die for 60 foreplay options and 24 intriguing positions, as well as a satin bag for convenient and classy storage and an explanation booklet to help things run more smoothly.
9
Try Out A Couple's Yoga Routine
Intimate Yoga For Couples, $20, Amazon
"For yoga aficionados, books are available that promote 'yoga for lovers,'" says Dr. Carla. "The body contact required for the poses stimulates conversation as the couple works on the poses. As a bonus, the body-to-body contact promotes a sense of loving connection and safety!" Intimate Yoga For Couples teaches you and your partner positions and routines that add power and tenderness to your relationship. This book also comes with a free DVD, but just a heads up — nudity is involved.
10
This Kit That Offers Pleasure, Fun, And Discovery
Kama Sutra Getaway Kit, $21, Amazon
"For the faint-at-heart, the Kama Sutra weekender kit is a great way for lovers to explore the realm of sexy toys. The variety of products — including the tiny feather duster — allows for pleasure, fun, and discovery!" This kit also comes with a candle and small oils and lubricants designed to get through airport security, so you can make sure you have all the essentials on that mini-vacation of yours.
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