Life

How Dating A Younger Guy Affects Your Career

by Kristine Fellizar

In a new study released by ToyboyWarehouse.com, a dating site catered to women seeking younger men, it was found that women who date younger guys are more likely to have better career success. These women were found to be more likely to hold a top ranking position at work. In fact, about one in two women who were dating younger men were found to have managerial roles, while only 33 percent of those positions go to women overall.

Back when I was a freshman in college my sorority “Big Sis,” who was pushing super-senior status at the time, finally dumped her no-good jerk boyfriend and was ready to put herself back in the game. After a few short-lived moments of toying around with several rebound options, she quickly settled into a new relationship. One day when we were hanging out, she proudly told me, “Little, I am officially a cougar.” In the back of my mind, I was thinking how old could this kid be? After all, at the time, she was only 22. Turns out, he was an 18-year-old sophomore who was the complete opposite of her crazy ex, as well as completely wrapped around her finger. Which is probably one of the reasons why she suggested that I date younger guys. Again, at the time I was a freshman in college so dating younger guys would consist of me creeping around junior high schools. Needless to say, I passed on that. But my Big Sis may have been on to something. Maybe there's a good reason why many women date younger men.

According to the study, Cougars are more assertive. They know what they want and are open about it. This could be due to the fact that “toyboy dating” increases the confidence level in women. In fact, the survey found that four in ten of the Cougars said they had “high confidence levels.” Calling it the “knock-on effect,” women become as self-assured as they are in the bedroom than they are in the boardroom.

Women who date younger men don't need to play the, “When is he going to make the first move?” game. In fact, as the survey found, 65 percent said they regularly reached out to men first, and we're just as likely to seek out sex in new relationships aside from love.

According to Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D., psychotherapist, author of The Ten Smartest Decisions a Woman Can Make After Forty, “There is a role reversal of sorts going on, women are more powerful, and may want men who are younger and therefore, more flexible — men who can let the woman's career and lifestyle be more important. Because of careers and freedom issues, women are exercising more choice.”

So, now we know that being a cougar can do wonders for your career. Here are some things you should know about dating younger men from various experts:

1. Settling Down With A Younger Guy Can Actually Shorten Your Life

While dating a younger guy can make you feel young and fresh, science says it may also send you to an early grave. According to a 2010 study conducted by Sven Drefahl, from the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research in Rostock, Germany, if a woman has a partner who is seven years younger than her, she has 20 percent chance of dying earlier. Researchers believe that women who stray from social norms have to deal with “social sanctions.” That means women who date younger guys get stressed out from the criticism they have to deal with about their relationship, so that stress puts a decrease on their quality of life. The study was based off statistics of two million Danish couples. On the flip side, they found that men who marry younger women actually lived longer.

2. It Can Do Wonders For A Woman's Self-Esteem

According to Maria Avgitidis, owner of NYC-based matchmaking service, Agape Match, “You will not see the same benefits — from an evolutionary standpoint — as older men experience when dating younger women. But dating younger men can do wonders on a woman's self-esteem. While older men distract themselves looking for younger partners, older women have the time and experience to really mold the kind of relationship they are looking for with a younger partner, who is usually more than willing to gain these kind of experiences. Plus, the benefit of being with a young man and his *ahem* stamina... that's certainly a bonus!”

3. Women Over 40 Are Lax About STIs

In a study published earlier this year in the Journal of Primary Health Care, New Zealand women between the ages of 40 and 69 who regularly engaged in casual sex were found to be “surprisingly blasé” about STIs. In fact, the study found that women were not only “ill-informed” but also “vulnerable” when it came to the subject of their sexual health. The researchers concluded that cougar-aged women on the hunt may have received their sexual assertiveness from alcohol rather than self-confidence.

4. It's Empowering

Susan Winter, relationship expert and bestselling author of the book Older Women/Younger Men, told Bustle, “The benefits [to being a cougar] include open mindedness, respect for female empowerment, and a more evolved view of partnership that extends beyond traditional roles. And of course, the sex is amazing. Admittedly, I can't serve as a source for comparison in younger versus older men in bed. I've never been with a man past his mid-30's. I'm 60.”

5. The Age Gap Brings Up Social And Financial Differences

“There are both positives and negatives for women dating younger men. Younger men tend to be less damaged, easier to sway to your way of doing things and may have a greater appreciation for you,” dating and relationship expert, Sarah Patt, from matchmaking and dating service, It’s Just Lunch Houston, says. “Dating a younger man can be more exciting and provide a renewed source of life and energy — not to mention the possibility of more frequent and satisfying sex. However, an age gap can bring up differences in lifestyle — both socially and financially. A younger guy may still be totally absorbed in his friends and "playing" and therefore not taking relationships too seriously.”

6. Older Women Are More Sexual Than You Think

Much has been said about sex getting better with age. The truth is, it probably does, and there is a biological reason behind it. A 2010 University of Texas-Austin study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that as a woman’s fertility decreases, her sexual activity increases. According to the study, women with lower fertility were more likely to have frequent sexual fantasies, have more of an active sex life and were much more willing to have a one-night stand and casual sex.

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