Entertainment

Jenna Maroney Is Basically Like Rachel Green

by Mary Grace Garis

Get ready to to have your mind blown by what could have been. Sunday night, at the 67th Primetime Emmy Awards, current Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt star Jane Krakowski revealed she auditioned for Friends' Rachel Green. We all know how that went: Jennifer Aniston donned that iconic layered cut to play your favorite friend, and Krakowski went from Ally McBeal's assistant Elaine to the over-the top actress Jenna Maroney on 30 Rock. It's still an interesting tidbit, because Jenna totally feels like she could've been the road not taken for Rachel.

"What? Rachel's neurotic, but she's not insane." Well, I guess you have a point, dear readers. But, consider the following: when Rachel first showed up in Central Perk, clad in her wedding dress, she was a blank slate. Any of her new adventures in the big city could've led her to going full Jenna if she hadn't ended up in the constant watch of her new friends. And Jenna, likewise, could just be a version of Rachel if she ended up being an off-the-rails actress. Who knows, you know?

Still seems like a stretch? Just think about the following similarities as you mull it over, and I'm sure you'll come to realize how right I am.

1. Both Have Known Their Best Friend For Years Before The Start Of Their Show

Jenna and Liz had been friends for years before The Girlie Show gets mutated into TGS With Tracy Jordan. Likewise, Rachel and Monica are estranged childhood BFFs at the start of Friends. Everyone gets bad wigs in flashbacks.

2. Both Basically Have Their Brunette Best Friend As Their Caretaker

Rachel just casually moves into Monica's apartment, and Jenna... well, let's just say that Liz has had to wrangle Jenna out of more than a few unfortunate situations.

3. Both Have Had To Mildly To Moderately Reinvent Themselves To Become Who They Are Today

Jenna basically had to change her name, hide her thick Southern accent, and work her way out of virtual poverty and burger-flipping to land where she is today. And Rachel had a full 10 seasons of growth, but ultimately she would be nothing without her pre-series nose job. It's basically like the same thing.

4. Both Are Inexplicably Successful In Their Chosen Field

The fact that Rachel worked her way up from worst waitress ever to a coordinator at Ralph Lauren is total wish fulfillment. Likewise, it's kind of incredible that Jenna, with her borderline worrisome theatrics, is able to co-star on a primetime network show. Although I hear her work in the Rural Juror is pretty good.

5. Both Have Unconventional Lovers

Ross is a thrice-divorced professor of paleontology, which technically makes him a doctor, but not in any way that matters. And Jenna is married to Paul, a... Jenna Maroney impersonator. You know, just not the people you imagine ending up with as a girl.

6. They Both Are Next-Level Spoiled

Rachel grows up that way and very gradually gets over it after getting cut off financially, her experiences as a burgeoning career woman and single mother helping her along the way. Jenna, meanwhile, grabs a bit of fame and takes a stranglehold of the spotlight forever, with her essentially using Kenneth (and pretty much everyone else at NBC) as servants.

7. And, Finally, They're Both All About Looking Fabulous

Never forget when Rachel couldn't decide what outfit to wear for Ross' random paleontology function... and that Jenna considers the entire TGS staff as fives next her her 10-ness.

Now try and tell me again that they're not the same person.

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