5 Items That Will Transform Your Walk of Shame

Sunday mornings are rough. Everyone knows this. You roll out of whatever bed (or couch, or floor) you crashed in/on after your big night out, sleepy, confused, eyes caked together with last night's makeup, and try to rally yourself and others for brunch. It's a tough life, and in that spirit, here is THE definitive list on how to turn your worst mornings into marginally more acceptable ones and make your walk of shame into a Sunday stroll.

Disclaimer: This assumes you carry a big enough purse (ie: bigger than something that is just large enough for your iPhone).

Disclaimer Part II: You should always have cash (read: cab fare, coffee, sausage and egg sandwich) and your ID with you. Preferably your phone and your keys as well. Those are basics. I assume that they are assumed, and thus this list does not include them.

Disclaimer Part III: A fully intact sense of humor can, of course, be added to the list that follows. It can also substituted for any and all of the items on it.

1. A hair tie and/or bobby pins

I can’t stress this enough. A hair tie is what transforms ratty bed-head into a textured side-braid or a trendy top-knot. A bobby pin is what makes bangs that are limp with last night’s dance floor sweat appropriate for the public eye.

2. Gooey lip balm (you know, the Vaseline-ey kind that comes in a pot or a tube)

Gooey lip balm (yes, that is the technical term) is the most underrated of makeup options. After a night spent doing who knows what, you can smear some on your lips (because, I guarantee it, you are dehydrated and your lips are starting to reflect that), use it as makeup remover (get rid of those raccoon circles with one simple swipe of a tissue), and use it as a rudimentary makeup option (gooey lip balm can serve as an eye-brightening shadow, a hint of cheek-emphasizing blush, cuticle cream, and, y’know, lip balm).

3. A scarf/long-sleeve t-shirt

Chances are, some part of your outfit can make the night-to-day transition. It’s probably not the top half of your outfit. A well-placed, oh-so-casual “look what I just threw on” tee or a cotton scarf (both of which can be rolled into tiny balls in your purse) can cover up any exposed skin and give you that Beyonce-esque “I woke up like dis” vibe.

4. Sunglasses

Every woman’s secret weapon. A good pair can hide exhaustion, blotchiness, and all emotions behind a veil of tinted-lens cool. They also have the magic effect of making it look as if you look the way you do on purpose. Don’t ask me how sunglasses magically instill a level of purposefulness to your existence. They just do.

5. Gum, breath mints, or a tiny bottle of mouthwash

You can, of course, just steal a swipe of toothpaste from wherever you slept. That said, sometimes there are those nights where toothpaste is nowhere to be found. For those instances, it is always good to be prepared.

Forgot to bring these items along with you? I suggest you find a way to spend the night in your own bed.