Entertainment

The 'Star Wars' Trailer Is Coming Soon — REAL Soon

by Maura O'Malley

The time is now: more Star Wars goodies are finally here — well, sorta. After six months of agonizing and waiting not-so-patiently for the latest Star Wars: Force Awakens trailer, fans have been told to wait just a little bit longer. A new Star Wars poster was released on social media on Sunday, but the trailer isn't set to air until ESPN's Monday Night Football game between the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Eagles. This news has sent me into a total tailspin, and I am kinda freaking out.

My main problem is that the poster raises so many questions without giving a lot of answers. Where is Luke Skywalker? Will there be ewoks in the new film? Will the filmmakers right the sexist wrong that barred ladies from having lightsabers in the name of #equality? These are things I want to know as soon as possible, and these are things I might have already have known if the trailer and the poster had been released at the same.

But alas, we live in a cruel world and we must all wait. The result is that until the new Star Wars: Force Awakens trailer is released, I am in a continual spin-cycle of emotions. Here is a tiny peek inside my mind as I found out I would have to wait another day to see the new trailer.

Oh, Look! There's A New Poster And Trailer Online, & I Bests Be Going On The Internet To Look At These Gems

I can't wait a single second. This is important.

Wait, The Trailer Isn't Here. I Have Been Tricked!

There is no trailer yet. It's coming out at a later date. This is craziness. I now know how Han Solo felt when Lando betrayed him. I feel betrayed and unable to properly trust anyone ever again!

It's Fine, I'm Fine, & I'm Still Excited

It's gonna be OK. I've waited six months for a new trailer, I can totally wait one more day.

Scratch That, I Am Angry

Do Monday Night Football people even like Star Wars? I don't think so. This is a very stupid plan. I'm looking at you, George Lucas. We are no longer friends. We are now enemies.

What Am I Supposed To Do Until The Trailer Is Released?

I am so bored without this trailer. I guess I'll have to find things to distract me. This is really no big deal — this is what the Internet was invented for!

I'll Watch A Movie, That Always Distracts Me

Specifically, I'll watch Episode IV: A New Hope, since that always put me in a good mood.

Crap, Its Episode III — I Have Made A Horrible Mistake

Who put Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith in this DVD box? This is seriously the worst Star Wars movie. I don't know what kind of animal would do this.

Time To Contemplate The Meaning Of Life

Okay so watching Star Wars isn't an option. I'll just think about Star Wars instead. Why? Why did you do this us to us, George Lucas?

It Is Okay To Cry

Crying a little is totally socially acceptable or at least, that's what I keep telling myself.

Screaming Seems To Help

I intend to scream away the pain.

Finally, I Will Pull Myself Together

I can do this. I am a Jedi. I am a tough warrior-princess. I can wait longer for the full-length film trailer. I can do this!

Now I'm Starting To Get Excited Again

Even though I have to wait (so annoying), soon the new trailer will be released and I can watch it on repeat and freak out for a whole host of other reasons!

"Me want, no longer wait for trailer now. But still excited I am" - Yoda. I think.

Images: Walt Disney Studios; Giphy (12)