It might seem a little old school, but giving a hand job is still fun and awesome. No matter your age or sexual experience, hand jobs should not just be regulated to the backseat of your parents’ car, on a school night, trying to get to third base before curfew. Instead, they should be just as an important part of foreplay as anything else you do leading up to the big bang. And the best part about giving hand jobs now is that you’ve probably learned to some skills along the way... isn’t evolving in your sexual ability grand?
Giving a good hand job isn’t exactly easy. You don’t just reach down, grab on, and stroke it as if your life depends on it. Granted, penises aren’t as complicated as the female anatomy, but they still need at least a little finessing and even a bit of courting before you start stroking like there’s no tomorrow. You also need to consider the fact that there are different strokes for different folks (sorry; couldn’t help myself there), and as much as your hand is doing a lot of the work, some of that work should be coming from your partner in the form of feedback and instruction.
While different partners have different likes and dislikes, at the end of the day, there are some things a lot of people would probably want you to avoid during a hand job:
1. Just Stick To His Penis
The key to giving a great hand job is to incorporate more than just his penis. You want to pay attention to his balls, acknowledge the fact that his perineum is super sensitive, too, and even include some anal play, if that’s what you’re both into. A hand job isn’t just about stroking his penis back and forth and up and down, it’s about surveying the entire landscape down there and figuring out how to make the most of it, giving him the maximum amount of pleasure.
2. Disregard The Rest Of His Body
Although your major focus during a hand job should be on his genitals, that doesn’t mean you can’t, oh, I don’t know, kiss him, bite his neck, nibble at his earlobe, or even talk dirty to him about how much you just love to stroke his cock. His penis might be the one getting the majority of the attention, but that doesn’t mean you should disregard the rest of his body, especially his lips.
3. Ignore His Instructions
If he tells you that you’re doing it too hard, too fast, not hard enough, or he starts to whimper because you’re actually hurting him, listen to him. No matter how many articles you might read on how to give a hand job, every person is different, so you need to listen to what he’s saying. You don’t want to chafe the poor guy.
4. Look Bored
As much as I think hand jobs are fun, in this juvenile second-base sort of way, I do think that they can be sort of boring. But that’s where the whole idea that sex is a give and take comes into play. So if you’re feeling a bit bored, find aspects of it that you enjoy — maybe it's making eye contact or talking dirty. Know that your partner wants you to enjoy it, too.
5. Forget The Lube
Fun fact: Men who are uncircumcised aren’t just easier to give a hand job to, but they don’t require lube, because their foreskin acts like a lube, in that it protects the penis from unwanted friction. However, if you’re dealing with a circumcised man, lube definitely comes in handy. The feeling of the skin of your hand on the skin of his penis is great, but lube allows for more of a gliding sensation that feels even better.
6. Stick To Just Strokes
While stroking is your best bet until you get some direction, you can actually vary your hand job technique by twisting a bit (emphasis on “a bit” ― you’re not trying to twist it off!), or rubbing the underside of his penis, the frenulum, with your thumb as you stroke. The frenulum is where the head of the penis and the shaft meet up and it’s a very sensitive spot that should definitely not be ignored during a hand job.
7. Complain That Your Arm Is Tired
If your arm is getting tired, you can subtly shift your position so you’re using your other hand instead. When you complain that your arm is tired it’s the equivalent to your partner asking you, “Are you going to come or what?” You’re insinuating that you have better things to do ― and maybe you do ― but you don’t have to be so obvious about it.
8. Rush It
If you start a hand job with the thought, “I can’t wait for this to be over,” in your head, it’s not going to go well for either one of you. You’re going to try to rush it, you’re going to try to get it out of the way, and that bored look that I already mentioned, is going crawl across your face in a matter of seconds and stay there.
You wouldn’t want him to rush giving you pleasure. Unless you’ve both decided that this is just a quick handy before you head out for the night or something, don’t rush it.
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