Who's Getting Married In 'Gilmore Girls'?

One of Stars Hollow's main trademarks — aside from town meetings about who can date who and pancake places that serve Chinese food — is that it is an ideal setting for weddings. From Sookie and Jackson's second season finale nuptials to Lane and Zack's three parties to Liz and T.J.'s Renaissance shindig, Stars Hollow is the ideal venue for getting hitched. That's why it's no surprise that the upcoming Gilmore Girls Netflix revival is going to have a wedding... probably. After a prop labeled for the "wedding" set popped up on Instagram, speculation grew wild... is one of our Gilmores getting married, or is another Stars Hollow couple tying the knot?

Here is the thing, my loves: for some strange reason, I don't think a Luke and Lorelai wedding is in the works. Honestly, if those two haven't gotten it together and settled down by now, I give up. The series finale kiss all but solidified that they were going to make it work, and I can't do another four episodes of will they/won't they, guys. It's just too hard on my heart. And what about Rory? All reports suggest that Rory is single and probably dating, so I imagine immediately saddling her up with one of her old boyfriends (or some rando?) would ruin things for all the shipper fans out there, you know?

So if it isn't going to be one of the main two Gilmore girls, let's consider a few dark horse contender couples. Such as...

Kirk And Lulu

You know what, these two crazy kids have been at it for a very, very long time now, so most likely they've also settled down by this point. They probably have some newt-like child or two by now. Who knows. If not, though, a Kirk and Lulu wedding could be a hilarious and strange event to really bring the town together. Think about it: Kirk is an ever-present force, he embodies Stars Hollow... and he's a stone cold weirdo who would definitely have a bizzaro-world wedding. Like, Kirk's wedding would be the new Cinnamon's wake. At first this doesn't make sense, and then it makes perfect sense.

Paris And Doyle

It's also probable that Paris and Doyle have already made it legal. In fact, there's enough photographic evidence to suggest they even have a kid or two by now. But with all of Paris' studies and Doyle climbing up the journalistic career ladder, perhaps they hadn't really gotten around to it yet. You know, too busy taking over the world and all that jazz. Plus, this would explain all the Yale alumni popping up in the revival. I guess my only other reason for pause is that, you know, why exactly would they situate this in Stars Hollow? It doesn't have to be, I suppose, we could still place the event somewhere else in Connecticut. Which, actually, is something that pertains to the next two theories.

Emily And Simon McLane

"Who's Simon McLane?" you may ask. Um, he's that guy Emily went on one date with during her separation with Richard. And while it doesn't have to be him, wouldn't it be a crazy thing if Emily decided to get remarried immediately after Richard's passing (or not, because even though Edward Herrmann left us only over a year ago we don't know how long Grandpa Gilmore's been gone). It would keep the wedding centralized on a Gilmore girl (technically) and it would be perfect reason for Lorelai to go ballistic on her mother (not that she ever needs a reason). Rooting against this idea, though, because I really want Emily to come into her own as a strong, independent woman. Or, better yet, join her daughter and granddaughter's #squad.

Logan And Some Rando Upper-Class Socialite

Why else would the Life and Death Brigade return? Well, I mean, several ways and reasons, but you know. As a framing device, this might be interesting. After all, the series more-or-less ended with Rory rejecting Logan's proposal. Other than that, it kind of seems like a flimsy event to center an episode (or even part of an episode around). I will, say, though, that if any of Rory's beaus are getting married, Logan is the safest pick. I know guys like Jess, I date guys like Jess, and guys like Jess don't settle down until their deep 30s or early 40s after their dreams of writing the great American novel/making the band work/transitioning from barista to professional fine artist are truly, completely dead. That said...

Dean And Miss Patty

It's almost criminal how much I 'ship this.

Eh, maybe it's safer to say that one of our Gilmores will get married instead. Regardless of who it is, though, I'm excited to RSVP to whatever wedding the show throws our way.

Images: Warner Bros. Television; Giphy (6)