When I do my hair up in the mirror on any given morning or throw finger guns at my reflection after putting on a great outfit, one thing is for certain: The great "I look hot" feeling won't last very long. Why? Because there are usually appearance-related comments women hear on the regular just around the corner. It might take until the afternoon or I might hear one just as I jump onto the morning train, but it seems like almost everyone has an opinion when it comes to what a woman should look like.
This is frustrating and more than a little fist-clenching, to say the least. Whether it's a prim-mouthed old lady telling you to pull down your skirt or a co-worker asking you if you had a rough night, these "helpful" comments are very rarely that. Chances are you can barely get through a checkout line without seeing a magazine cover proclaiming that you have a wobbly body that needs to be fixed. Sometimes even friends chime in about our outfits or the state of our roots.
It's all enough to make a woman want to snap. Below are 13 appearance-related comments ladies hear on the regular. Read them, identify with them, laugh over them, and — most importantly — stop using them.
1. "Don't you want to do something about that cellulite/those stretch marks?"
Somehow people are legit offended over body features that almost everyone has. This is the equivalent of shaming someone for having eyelashes or elbows. Get over it, already.
2. "It's never too late to get the perfect body."
I think it's time that we, as a whole, got over our shame regarding not having what mainstream society dubs "the beach bod." Why? Because it's a ridiculously arbitrary thing. Whether you're allegedly too muscular, too bony, or too fat, you're probably never it. The imaginary bar keeps getting moved further and further away from most of us, so why not just embrace the bodies we have now and go have fun with them?
3. "You're showing way too much skin."
This is honestly a comment designed to police women's bodies and control them in a way that is more passive. You know what it actually means? "Your sexuality makes me uncomfortable." Or, "You flashing some leg is automatically sexual."
The comment is usually meant to give us a dose of shame so we feel uncouth in our presentations, and find the inspiration we need to go put on a friar's robe and cover up.
4. "Your clothes make you look like a prude."
On the other hand, if you decide to put on something baggy, long, or concealing, you're probably going to be perceived as a prude who's afraid of her body and her natural sexuality. Even if you wear something that hits in the middle of the two extremes, people will decide which side of the dichotomy you should fall on and reprimand you accordingly.
5. "Maybe it's time to do something with your hair."
Don't you just love it when random people want you to change in order to better fit their image of what you should be? Why would they think that they have the clout to change people with just a single request? This ain't The Sims — you can't just plop us in front of a mirror and get to tinkering.
6. "Have you tried this new anti-aging formula?"
If you think that I need to start worrying about my laugh lines — whether in my early 20s or late 60s — then please think again. Our lines carry all the beach days, late nights, bursts of laughter, and hard decisions we've ever rocked. Why feel ashamed of them?
7. "I think someone with a different figure could pull that off, you know?"
No, I don't know. Because I'm currently wearing it and I feel fabulous. Those so-called fashion rules are so outdated they hurt. You don't have to be a size six to wear tight, colorful, revealing, or eye-catching clothing. If something strikes your fancy, it's yours to sport.
8. "Eating salad today? What are you, on a diet?"
Or I could just like salad. Or... what if I am? My body weight doesn't have to be your concern, you know? But yeah, I might just want to fuel my body with some goodness this afternoon.
9. "You have to be original. But the right kind of original."
This one is confusing, to say the least. Society appreciates a person who marches to the beat of their own drum... just as long as that beat doesn't veer to far away from the rest of the band. You can get wacky with your outfits as long as you stay on trend. But if you really delve into your own aesthetic and let that freak flag fly, you're bound to be met with side-eyes and passive aggressive remarks.
10. "That trend is so outdated."
But I... like it? Did we all have a meeting in which we decided that once the season was over, we would burn all our clothes in a village bonfire and start over? Who forgot to forward that on to me?
11. "You look so tired today."
When has this ever been met with a smile and a thank you? You know what you're doing when you say that to someone? You're rubbing in that they look like they slept on an air mattress and that you look flawless and smug in comparison.
12. "You're so brave for wearing that."
Translation: I think your outfit is wretched, and not at all ~fit~ for your body. But I guess we'll both smile tightly and keep sipping on our coffees.
13. "I don't know how you leave the house without covering your dark circles."
It's honestly the worst when people tell you to throw makeup on your face. The sentiment translates to, "Ya look ugly." Don't be that guy. Don't tell people they're sore on the eyes.
Women have to put up with a lot of BS when it comes to their appearances, but being aware that these are the things that make many of us cringe and roll our eyes is helpful. Why? Because at least that way, we don't have to use these remarks on each other. Let's be nicer to our fellow ladies and stop trying to police them like the rest of society is so keen on doing.
Image: Courtesy margieplus/Instagram
