'Real World: Ex-Plosion' begs the question: "why?"

What is there to say about The Real World: Ex-Plosion (or just The Real World franchise in general) at this point in time? Twenty plus years ago, the show explored issues of race, gender, sexual orientation, and growing up in a way that was, well, real. Houseguests still got wild, sure, but that wasn’t the focal point of the show — the interaction of diverse people was. You could make an argument that the show has actually only become more diverse over the years, in certain ways, but the houseguests it's attracted have arguably become more and more homogenous. Some are gay and some are straight and some have Bronx accents and some have lived abroad, but all of them are united in their abiding focus on HEDONISM. That’s all there is here. What do I want? What can I get? How quickly can I get it? How quickly can I forget? On and on, circling the drain. Live-blogging the show feels like some awful id transcript.

Literally nothing of substance happened in tonight’s episode. Almost nothing actually happened on tonight’s episode, period. Jay and Jenna fought a bit about some video of him hooking up with another girl, which may actually exist as a .mov file on his computer (he’s thorough!). And Jenna flirted with the idea of striking out on her own, which amounted to mentioning the idea to Jenny out at the club. No, she didn’t follow through with any real effort. But she briefly thought about it!

Wait, I take it back. Drunk Jamie once again tried to insinuate herself into Jay and Jenna’s “relationship,” yelling at Jay for the way he disrespects Jenna. Jenna started crying, as is her wont. Jay told the camera he’s not the “bad guy” he’s made out to be.

Tom’s twin brother Steven showed up, too, utilizing precisely the same speech patterns and mannerisms as the guy we’ve come to know these past six weeks. Two Toms in one house means double the befuddled looks and drunken missives directed at Hailey!

I wish so badly I could tell you we learned something from this episode, or even had a good time — one good time in 42 minutes — but this show is horrendous, on all counts, and we’d all be better people if we turned away. Maybe it would disappear if no one watched? LET’S TRY IT.

(See you next week.)

Image: MTV