Entertainment

These ‘00s Music Vids Are Too Spooky

by Kristie Rohwedder

They’re heeeeeeere. And no, I am not talking about some menacing ghosts in a television set that can't wait to sprinkle some maggots on a slab of raw meat. I mean some spooky music videos from the first decade of the new millennium. Why scary music videos? Because it’s October. If there was ever a time of year to watch chilling music videos, it is now. But why scary music videos from the '00s? Because (much like the decade before it (*waves* heeeey, ‘90s), a bunch of really great, really unnerving videos debuted throughout the aughts. As far as hair-raising music videos are concerned, it was tremendous era. And yes, we are about to watch a whole pile of vids.

Some of these clips are overtly terrifying, putting their own spin on tried-and-true horror tropes that are sure to freak out most viewers. Others are more insidious; the off-putting imagery slowly but surely worms its way into your subconscious, and before you know it, it’s the only thing you can think about as you try to fall asleep. Whether you’d describe these music videos as creepy, disturbing, unsettling, surreal, grisly, spooky, objectively scary, or all of the above, there is no denying the following: they are the stuff of nightmares. Beautiful, enthralling nightmares.

And I would like to honor these beautiful, enthralling nightmares, er, music videos with some awards.

1. “Get Along With You” By Kelis (2000)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Excellent Use of A Wooden Drawing Model Figurine Thing Award.

2. “There, There” By Radiohead (2003)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Oops You’re A Tree Now Award.

3. “Disturbia” By Rihanna (2008)

I am pleased to present this video with: The That Tiny Room Makes Me Break Into A Cold Sweat Award.

4. “Fighter” By Christina Aguilera (2003)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Aughhhhhhhhh I Can Feel The Moths' Wings Through My Computer Screen Award.

5. “Funhouse” By P!nk (2009)

I am pleased to present this video with: The How About Those Masks With The Glowing Eyes, Eh? Award.

6. “Disposable Teens” By Marilyn Manson (2000)

I am pleased to present this video with: The I Know It’s Eye Makeup, Not Blood, But It’s Still Freaky Looking Award.

7. “Where Is The Line” By Björk (2004)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Why Hello, Hay Swamp Creatures Award.

8. “Schism” By Tool (2001)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope Award.

9. “Knives Out” By Radiohead (2001)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Who Wants To Play Operation? Award.

10. “Walking On Air” By Kerli (2008)

I am pleased to present this video with: The I Will Never Be OK With The Possessed Marionette Award.

11. “Girl’s Not Grey” By AFI (2003)

I am pleased to present this video with: The What Did The Flower Petals Do With That Young Lady? Is She OK? And What Is That Rabbit's Deal? Award.

12. “Ready, Able” By Grizzly Bear (2009)

I am pleased to present this video with: The It’s As Hypnotic As It Is Pretty As It Is Unsettling Award.

13. “What’s A Girl To Do?” By Bat For Lashes (2006)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Animal Mask Is The New Helmet Award.

14. “Flashing Lights” By Kanye West (2007)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Well, That Took An Awful Turn Award.

15. “Make Me Bad” By Korn (2000)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Brigitte Nielsen Never Disappoints Award.

16. “Son Of A Gun (I Betcha Think This Song Is About You)” By Janet Jackson Feat. Missy Elliott (2001)

I am pleased to present this video with: The With Undead Friends Like These, Who Needs Enemies? Award.

17. “The Kill (Bury Me)” By Thirty Seconds To Mars (2006)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Uh Oh Now I Can’t Stop Thinking About The Hallway Scenes From The Shining Award.

18. “I Miss You” By Blink-182 (2003)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Blink 180-Boo Award.

19. “If I Had A Heart” By Fever Ray (2008)

I am pleased to present this video with: The This Bed & Breakfast Didn’t Look Like This On The Website Award.

20. “Kids” By MGMT (2008)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Toddlerhood Sure Was A Hoot, Huh? Award.

21. "Parabola" By Tool (2002)

I am pleased to present this video with: The Have Fun Never Unseeing This One Award.

Sleep tight. Don't let the scary music videos from the boo millennium, er, new millennium bite.

Image: KerliVEVO/YouTube