Although you likely know that sex is healthy AF for you, it might leave you wondering if one type of sex is healthier than another. For example, is doggy style sex healthier than missionary, or vice versa? Is period sex healthier than anal sex? Relationship sex or friends with benefits? Or is no sex, as in abstaining, the healthiest of all? Well, I guess it depends on who’s doing the answering.
When it comes to sex, all sex, the rules are simple: It needs to be consensual and feel good. It also helps if you and your partner are sexually compatible and there’s a lot of communication going on there. But other than that, there’s no such thing as one type of sex being the “healthiest” — or is there?
"I believe the healthiest sex is sex that consensual and between partners who openly communicate with one another,” Dr. Jennifer Caudle, family physician and assistant professor at Rowan University School of Osteopathic Medicine, tells Bustle. “It is sex where partners not only respect each others' wishes, but respect each others' bodies as well. The healthiest sex is SAFE sex. It is also sex which doesn't put a person’s health in jeopardy. The healthiest sex is enjoyable and fulfilling."
Are you having the healthiest sex you can possibly have? Here’s how to tell.
1. It's Consensual
Consent is sexy. No matter how dirty or rough you prefer your sex, as long as both parties are consenting to what’s going down and enjoying it at the same time, that’s all that matters. Consent, above all else, is the most important component of healthy sex.
2. It's Safe
Especially with STDs at an all-time high, it's imperative you get tested and discuss how you'll stay safe with your partner.
With a new partner? "It may be an uncomfortable conversation, but it’s imperative to talk about STIs with any new partner before engaging with them," Dr. Cherrell Triplett, OB/GYN at Franciscan St. Francis Medical Centers in Indianapolis and clinical assistant professor at the Indiana University School of Medicine, tells Bustle. "Questions can include: 1) Have you ever had unprotected sex? 2) Have you ever been tested for STIs? If so, when were you last tested and what were the results? 3) Which STIs were you tested for? Not tested for? 4) How many sexual partners have you had since your last round of testing? 5) What were the STI statuses of those partners?""
3. It's Loaded With Communication
You can give direction and accept direction. If something's not working for you, you speak up. You don’t ridicule each other’s fantasies, you’re supportive about each other’s insecurities, and when you have sex there is no “elephant in the room,” because you both put it all out there with honesty.
4. There's Mutual Respect
You don’t just respect each other’s minds, but your bodies, your boundaries, your expectations, your limits, and that freaky side. You respect that you both had a sexual past before you met each other and don’t pass any judgments.
5. It’s Comfortable
You have a partner who makes you feel sexy and confident, you don’t experience any physical pain (at least not unless you want to), and because it’s both consensual and safe, it feels right. There’s a lot to be said for sex that’s comfortable, because it can take any hang-ups or concerns immediately off the table, and let you get to the enjoyment part of the equation.
6. It’s About The Journey And Not The End Result
While having an orgasm is great and something you likely want, the healthiest sex is about the journey. It’s about foreplay, intimacy, having a physical connection, and not only focusing on having an orgasm. If you have an orgasm, great! If it’s not in the cards this time around, it’s not the end of the world. It’s about the satisfaction that comes with the entire sexual experience.
7. You Both Enjoy Yourselves
Sex is supposed to be enjoyable. What this means is letting go and being completely in the moment. It’s supposed to be fun, exciting, a bit experimental when called for, and basically make you feel great AF. The healthiest sex is sex in which both partners share this enjoyment and walk away feeling like they’ve just conquered the world, because seriously, how great is that?
Images: Fotolia; Giphy (7)
