Entertainment

Damnit. #Bookgate Is Still Trucking

by Mallory Schlossberg

If you're up-to-date on The Real Housewives of New York , you know that #BookGate's been going down for the past few episodes (TEAM CAROLE FOR THE WIN). This week, the Housewives will be sojourning in the Hamptons. You know what means (and I love a good rhyme): confrontation vacation.

You don't send Housewives to a house in the Hamptons unless you know drama is going to happen. We even have threats about decking each other in the face to look forward to. This is besides the fact that we're going to be privy to Sonja Morgan's Caburlesque (which is, in fact, a portmanteau of cabaret and Burlesque), which is basically the ultimate symbolic antonym to writing a book. Or is it similar? Either way, we're dealign with some pretty, er, creative Housewives this season.

Of course, there's only so much bitching we can hear from Aviva and tearing down of Carole that we can watch. We want something else, but this is likely going to be the thing that we keep circling back to this season.

In fact, Aviva Drescher told ABC's Entertainment POP that because Carole asked her if she used a ghostwriter, that she thought it was — you know, in the interest of conversational propriety — worth asking Carole if she, too, used a ghostwriter (which is dumb, if Aviva knows anything about Carole's experiences as a human being prior to her time on RHONY).

For the record, Aviva used an editor for her memoir, Leggy Blonde, not a ghostwriter — which, by the way, as Aviva says, should be a secret if it's really a ghost writer. It's a ghost writer because it's a ghost! So we'll never know will we? Editors, however, can either do small things — a copy editor will fix your improper use of a semi colon — or big things, like edit and rewrite a ton of things. It's kind of like when someone does an "as told to" piece, and you're like, wait a second, you sound so much more eloquent than I'd ever expect you to sound when you put pen to paper — ah, wait! This is because you spoke it.

The bottom line is that Aviva calling out Carole just makes Aviva look dumber, and her fight isn't worth it — but just because it's not worth the battle, doesn't mean it's going to end. THIS IS RHONY. C'mon, y'all.

Do you need further proof? In an interview on Good Morning America, Carole said that "sometimes you gotta hit with crazy with crazy." So in summation, if Carole thinks anything Aviva does is crazy, then she's gonna hit it with crazy? Shocker.

So! Why won't BookGate end?

1. Crazy Will Hit Crazy

Hello, that's how you make good television. Still, we know what Carole thinks:

2. We Get A Housewife With Legitimate Brains

And one who intimates that she used an editor, but you'd never know if she used a ghostwriter 'cause it's a ghost.

3. It Could Yield A Spin-Off: The Ghosts Of Real Housewives of New York City

You know, 'cause of ghostwriters and stuff. Anybody? Please? Bravo? Halloween time?

4. Admit it. We like a Fight! Fight! Fight!

If Sonja Morgan's Caburlesque is comedy, then we need the requisite drama to complete the RHONY picture. We can't just do funny on Bravo. We applaud the dramatic. You know, "bring it on, bitch." That sort of thing.

5. #BookGate

A trending topic richer than most. Don't let this die, yet, please. And now, watch Aviva fall: