GOP Candidate By Day, Vampire By Night

After reading Twilight, we knew one thing: Vampires would make great politicians. They're immortal and wise, and blood-sucking aside, they seem like very decent and trustworthy people. And while Edward Cullen might not be our next senator, Florida congressional candidate Jake Rush might be the next best thing. Following Tuesday's revelation that Rush was a longtime member of role-playing Mind's Eye Society, the Republican hopeful did the most surprising thing of all: He embraced his inner vampire.

Rather than cowering from the reports of his "bizarre double life," Rush instead released a statement, complete with a photo of him in a superhero costume, that fully disclosed his love for cosplay, short for "costume play." By day, Rush is a politician; by night, he's the vampire Chazz Darling.

The great irony of this stems from Rush's political branding as a "conservative straight shooter," one who is tired of being "disappointed and embarrassed" by incumbent Ted Yoho.

In 2011, an interesting relationship was posited between political affiliations and the popularity of mythical creatures — in short, linking Republicans with zombies and Democrats with vampires. (It was also the first and last time anyone said 'Edward Cullen' and 'President Obama' in the same breath.)

A correlation was found between Republican presidents and an increase in movies about zombies, and Democratic administrations and a spike in films regarding vampires. So striking was the relationship that it caught the attention of some academics, who declared that zombies and vampires just might be "competing parables about class warfare."

Whatever the reason may be, the past few elections have been predicted almost as well by horror movies as by pollsters. In 2000, zombies took over the box office (and the White House) at a rate of 26 films a year. But in 2008, it was vampires who gained popularity, as 18 movies were released — twice the number of zombie movies.

In his statement, Rush speaks extensively of his love for board games, theatre, and all things imaginative. The bottom line, he says, is this:

There is nothing wrong with being a gamer. It’s kinda nerdy, but North Central Florida deserves a legitimate debate on the issues instead of Ted Yoho’s usual sideshow distractions.

But what might be a little more concerning, and what his statement does not address, is his once-documented weakness for rape fantasies. As reported by Peter Schorsch of the Saint Peters Blog, one of Rush's vampire characters, Chazz Darling, posted a very concerning message on a 2010 Yahoo message board, part of which read:

Rae tells me that you are a Maiden, and it's your job to be kind of stupid and that I'm not supposed to have intercourse with Maidens.

You shouldn't believe everything that people tell you or you're going to end up naked and sore, tied to the floor of a van marked "Free Candy."

And stop letting people torpor (sic) you.

–Chazz DarlingPower of DiscordImportant member of the LS

As for the images Rush released himself, Schorsch notes that there's certainly more where that came from, despite Rush's attempts to remove some photos from the Live Action Role Playing (LARP) wiki in the past few months.

[I]mages not erased — unlike one deleted photo uploaded in 2009 titled "Put on my Rape Face" — illustrate a disturbing spectrum, ranging from the silly and mild to unsettling portrayals of bizarre, ritualistic scenes of the occult, book burnings — even a succubus.

While Floridians might be able to get behind a "nerdy" candidate for their congressman, he's certainly no Edward Cullen, and it seems that this congressional hopeful's road to Washington just got a lot darker.

Image: Jake Rush For Congress