How to Wear Sunglasses, According to James Franco

You probably don't know this because you were too busy reading his sonnets, but James Franco is kind of a big deal in the world of Gucci. He began modeling for the brand in 2009, he made a "short film" based on Joan of Arc that was "presented" by Gucci, whatever that means, and speaking of "presenting," James Franco "presented" the film The Director, a documentary about Gucci. So you could say he and the brand are pretty tight.

His latest Gucci coup? Directing, acting, and making out with a hot model in a short advertisement for Gucci Eyewear. In the film, which features Gucci's new Techno Color Eyewear Collection, Franco wears sunglasses while doing a lot of different things. And if you watch closely enough, there are lessons to be learned.

1. Sunglasses look good in slow-motion.

Normal people park their cars and walk briskly to their next destination. People wearing Gucci aviators park their cars and rise out of them in slo-mo, languidly turning toward the camera as their hair falls perfectly away from their faces.

2. Sunglasses will disguise the fact that you're about to cheat on your date.

Yeah, yeah, you're getting "anniversary brunch cocktails" with your girlfriend of five years, but whoa — did you just spot a much hotter girl in a red bikini? If you're wearing Gucci's Techno Color Eyewear Collection, your date will never know.

3. Sunglasses can be worn underwater.

It's a great way to check their durability, you won't have to purchase any unflattering swim goggles, and you'll definitely get the attention of the skeevy guy in a matching pair.

4. Trying to creep? Sunglasses can help!

Society generally frowns on the idea of following a stranger down a narrow pathway full of bamboo. But if you've got a pair of dark, glossy aviators disguising your every motive, you won't come across as creepy at all.

5. Always, always wear sunglasses inside.

Especially if you're about to sneak up behind someone in their hotel room. Someone who wasn't expecting you. Someone who was just trying to unbutton his shirt in peace. Heeeeeere's your new girlfriend!

6. Sunglasses are great accessories for making out.

They help you forget the fact that you're perched precariously on a billboard hundreds of feet off the ground and DEFINITELY IN AN ADVERTISEMENT RIGHT NOW.

7. Wear sunglasses to break the 4th wall.

Do you sense that your audience is growing bored with your Gucci eyewear antics? Stare menacingly at the camera with Bonnie-and-Clyde eyes, and everyone will stop complaining and start wondering if that convertible was actually a getaway car the whole time.

Watch the whole video here:

Image: Gucci Eyewear