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Florida's Working on a Zombie Apocalypse Bill

It’s been said before by smarter people than I that “zombie preparedness” is really just disaster preparedness — but Florida is taking it to a whole new level: According to News 13, an amendment has actually been proposed to a bill working its way through the Senate that would change its title to “An act relating to the zombie apocalypse.” For reals.

The bill in question is Senate Bill 296; the senator who filed the amendment is Democrat Dwight Bullard. The bill itself would allow Florida gun owners without the proper permits to carry concealed weapons during a state of emergency. The National Rifle Association loves the idea, while the Florida Sheriff's Association hates it. The language, the opponents say, is far too vague for the bill to be considered safe. Bullard's proposal specifies “in title, [deleting] lines 2 – 3" — lines which currently read "An act relating to carrying a concealed weapon or a concealed firearm" — and [inserting]: "An act reacting to the zombie apocalypse."

Said the Senator to the Huffington Post, "For me, as laughable as the amendment might seem, it's equally laughable that people who haven't gone through the proper training, the background check, the license to carry — we're saying that because of a hurricane or flooding or sinkhole, these individuals have gone from gun owners to concealed carry permit holders. I'd argue a crisis is probably the last instance in which you want someone who is not a concealed permit holder to carry a weapon." Panicking people do stupid things; the bill would hopefully limit the amount of stupid things said panicking people (of which I would undoubtedly be one) could do.

The CDC made waves when it issued its own zombie preparedness guidelines — but although it was a move that was largely seen as a joke, it actually had a point. Said Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, MD, director of the office of Public Health Preparedness and Response, to Forbes earlier this year, “If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse, you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack.” True that. Even if you don’t have a zombie preparedness kit in your house and a plan to go with it, you should probably have a general disaster kit and plan. Where would you go? What necessities would you grab? How would you meet up with loved ones you might have been separated from? Being prepared is half the battle.

In the meantime, why not take a second to take stock of the skills you might need to brush up on before the disaster actually happens? You never know — it could strike at any time.