If you think your mom's wedding hairstyle from the '80s pushed the cray cray envelope, you ain't seen nothing yet. A little crimping and some heavily hair sprayed bangs just doesn't compare with some of the torturous methods and devices brides have used in decades past. Honestly, with all the procedures they had to go through back in the earlier days of wedding ceremonies, it's no wonder the Bridezilla was born.
These outrageous styles will make you happy you live in 2014, when simpler looks prevail and the most painful thing you could do to your hair is accidentally burning yourself with a curling iron or maybe weaving in some extensions. After all, these days, we're more about Disney-inspired 'dos than styles that could double as a bird's nest.
From hair frames to bouffants to extreme perms, here are some of the most out-there wedding-day 'dos throughout history. Oh, and in case you're wondering about the other side of the altar, I only found one groom with crazy hair, and it's the guy above. Although I'm not 100 percent sure, I'll put my money on that pic being from the '70s.
1. In Ancient Rome, brides parted their hair with a spear
Janet Stephens, a "hairdressing archaeologist" (can I steal your job title, please?), recreated the seni crines , worn by Roman brides and married women. The hair was parted with a spear and weaved into a series of twists, braids, and ribbons set on top of the head. Preparations often lasted hours; no word on how long it took to undo the thing.
2. During the Enlightenment, the updo got higher (and higher)
Wealthy European women would put feathers, fruit, and even models of ships in their updos for special events. Marie Antoinette, whose replica is pictured here, preferred diamonds. Well, obvi.
3. Victorian-era brides liked their stuffy updos, too
This one with curls in the front reminds us of homecoming dances circa 1999. (It's from an 1874 bridal fashion magazine.)
4. In the early 20th century, women preferred Snooki-like volumes
Before the advent of modern hairspray, there was the Edwardian hair rat, also called a hair frame. It was basically a mass of real or artificial hair used to pad out all types of hairstyles, like the popular pompadour.
5. During the '40s, the Victory Roll was the "it" look
'40s brides celebrated Victory Day with a V-shaped hairstyle, said to be named after a World War II plane maneuver. It's widely imitated by retro lovers today.
Here's Betty Grable doing the Victory Roll.
6. '60s bouffants were quite something
The maid of honor's beehive trumps the bride's in this photo from Brazil. She's also clearly hiding a flask up there.
7. In the '80s, the "poodle" look was everywhere
Permed and bleached: That's a lot of look, lady. I like your mustachioed companion's all-white tux, btdubs.