50 Shades of... Cake?

It was a given that a zillion lines of 50 Shades of Grey lingerie would come into existence once E.L. James’ trilogy hit the big time — but who could have guessed that the books would have inspired a whole collection of baked goods, too? Both EliteDaily and SheKnows recently discovered that there’s a whole genre of cake making (can cakes be describe by genre? Well, they are now, because I said so) devoted to 50 Shades of Grey; naturally after seeing what they found, we had to go scour the Internet for even more edible creations themed after Christian Grey, Anastasia Steele, and the infamous Red Room.

I’ll be honest: A number of these confections absolutely horrify me. This is really quite an achievement, as hitherto I have never met a pastry I didn’t like. Regardless as to how frightening I find them, though, the amount of thought that went into them deserves a round of applause; so, for that matter, does all the effort taken to carry out the tiniest of details. Have you ever seen this many pairs of unbuckled pants made out of fondant in one place before? I haven’t. It’s impressive.

I don’t really know if there’s any away to prepare yourselves for what you’re about to see, but consider yourselves warned. Here we go.

1. 50 Shades of Dreaminess

Just look at that blissed-out expression and those magnificently long lashes! Too bad he doesn’t know he’s about to experience the ultimate pain: Being chomped up by a gigantic set of molars.

2. 50 Shades of Simplicity

This one went the minimalist route, recreating the series’ most symbolic props in its signature color palette.

3. 50 Shades of Excess

In contrast, the bakers behind this masterpiece went all out. Someone’s been a very bad girl, indeed.

4. 50 Shades of Cupcakes

Such cute little handcuffs!

5. 50 Shades of a Certain Someone's Torso

These torso cakes seem to be quite popular, although to be honest, I’m not totally sure why. Is it really that sexy to consume a set of human abdominal muscles? In some circles, the answer is apparently yes.

6. 50 Shades of Bachelorette Party

If ever there was an appropriate time to break out a 50 Shades of Grey cake, a bachelorette party is it.

7. 50 Shades of Bedroom Eyes

Bedroom eyes: Fondant Christian has them.

8. 50 Shades of Classiness

This one definitely wins the Classiest Mommy Porn Cake Award. Seriously. Corset lacing on a cake? Genius.

Images: Rosie Cake-Diva, Small Town Girl Bakery, Charly’s Bakery, Cute Little Cupcakes, Soha Cakes, Daphodil Handmade, Richard’s Cakes, Nikki Belleperche Cakes/Facebook