These Are The Chia Pet Version Of Brass Knuckles

I'm all for eco-friendly fashion. I think sustainable fabrics and the like should become the norm, not the exception. However, I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that I think we can do without "brass" knuckles made out of wood and grass. They might be good for the environment, but they're also ugly. Like, really ugly.

Available on the Mr. Lentz Shop website, the grass knuckles are essentially a small planter you can wear on your hands. The knuckles are made from walnut wood and embedded grass that has been dried and preserved for your wearing pleasure. I'm sure there's a rooftop farmer out there who would kill for these. But, as for myself, you could not pay me enough. In fact, they cost $160, so I'm guessing that unless 50 Cent is having an eco-conscious moment, the grass knuckles won't be selling out too quickly. I mean, come on. They wouldn't even make your opponent's knees knock in a fight.

Each set of grass knuckles is made-to-order, so you'll get that custom fit you want from all your giant rings that inhibit daily life, and finished with "pure walnut oil and beeswax." (All right, hipster 50 Cent, cool your jets.) Given that even a two-finger ring is a bit impractical, it seems that a five-finger ring might make certain tasks (like typing) really difficult. I won't sacrifice my livelihood in order to sport a suburban lawn on my fingers.

Images: Mr Lentz Shop (2)