Entertainment

Ben Affleck's New Batman is Too Old for this Shit

It's been a few weeks since the big reveal that Ben Affleck will play Batman in the sequel to this year's Man of Steel, and the heat has largely died down. Affleck got a lot of hate (including some from me) from those who wondered whether he was a good choice for the iconic character, who was portrayed just last year by Christian Bale. I think much of the disappointment came from the casting rumors that preceded the announcement, with Ryan Gosling supposedly being considered.

Usually, I'd say there is no one better to cast in any role than Gosling, just ask the 50 Shades of Grey producers, but it turns out Gosling won't be donning a cape for a good reason— this Batman is supposed to be kind of old.

We're used to seeing pretty young, active superheroes. If anyone's tired, it's the guys who train them —usually, anyway. But the CEO of Warner Bros., Kevin Tsujihara, told Variety that the Batfleck crossing paths with Superman in 2015 will be "tired and weary and seasoned and been doing it for awhile." Affleck is only 41, so it's not that we're getting Grandpa "get off my cave" Batman, he's just getting too old for this shit. The forever baby-faced Gosling simply wouldn't have worked. Instead of "weary and seasoned" he'd just be mopey, and we had enough of that in the first half of The Dark Knight Rises.

There's no word of the film's plot yet, but it'll likely involve Henry Cavill's Superman needing to either a) convince Batfleck to get back into the crime-fighting game, b) learn some kind of secret/power/move from him or maybe even c) borrow some money (the Kents aren't quite as wealthy as the Waynes).

You know what would probably help in any of these scenarios? A certain former sidekick of Batman's, who's not quite as weary and still more into crime-fighting. I'll just come right out and say it — Hollywood, give me a movie where Ben Affleck and Matt Damon play Batman and Robin. Just imagine the possibilities. Every time they bust a bad guy someone they can hold the Bat symbol up to the jail cell and say "how you like that justice?" I think we as a society can forget all about Gigli, Jersey Girl and even Daredevil in exchange for hearing that one time.