Entertainment

What Would Happen if Lorde Managed Taylor Swift?

by Kenya Foy

Now of all of the cases of mistaken celebrity identities, this next one has to be one of the most clueless. During an appearance on The Tonight Show on Tuesday, singer Lorde said someone mistook her for Taylor Swift's manager backstage at the American Music Awards. The unidentified man even went so far as to ask about leaving his business card with the her. Um, OK. Pardon me while my brain struggles to regain its functions. I can hardly express how baffled I am by this person. First of all, how do you even manage to gain access to the backstage area of a major awards show and not be aware of exactly who Lorde is? Furthermore, how can you possibly not know who Swift is without knowing Lorde? I mean, they're only amongst the most recognizable celebrity BFFs in current rotation.

But let's humor this guy for a second and imagine that Lorde was actually Taylor Swift's manager, or more appropriately, her bestfriendager. I just made that up. Anyway, things for T Swift would change drastically. Or would they? I can't quite make up my mind yet, but knowing what I know about the two singing besties' relationship, I honestly believe that nothing would change about Swift. Based on their interactions, it feels like they share a genuine love and respect for one another even if their images, music, and overall demeanor have everyone convinced that they're polar opposites.

Just for fun, though, these 6 changes might take place if Lorde managed Taylor Swift:

Her demeanor would be more stoic

T Swift's signature perkiness would become a thing of the past. Relax, Swifties! This is just for play.

Swift would rid her wardrobe of all color

All monochrome everything.

Swift would be more outspoken on Twitter

Lorde's already perfected her Twitter defense, so Swift would have no choice but to follow suit and develop a little more attitude.

We wouldn't have to guess at who she's singing about

As the previous reference to Lorde's tweets points out, the “Royals” singer all about being direct. This would likely mean altering Swift's somewhat discreet song lyrics, thereby eliminating the constant song analysis that accompanies all of her album releases.

Her dancing skills would improve

Say what you will about Lorde's spastic dance moves, but at least they're original. If she worked as her bestie's manager, T Swift would have to get her dancing together.

Swift and Kanye West would become friends

Duh, because Yeezy reworked Lorde's "Yellow Flickerbeat." For a fleeting moment, I got excited over the idea of a Swift and Yeezy friendship and temporarily forgot that, much like everything else on this totally made-up list, Sweezy will probably never happen.

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