Be Glad You're Not a Victoria's Secret Angel

Over the past year, I've drastically changed my relationship to food. After spending my college years a soda guzzling, fast food dependent person, I entered the real world with the dark realization that if I didn't want to die at 40 when my arteries collapsed under the weight of all that sugar and grease, I'd better work on healthier habits. And while I still partake in ordering pizzas, baking cookies, and hitting Starbucks for coffee drinks that can only be described as milkshakes, those occurrences are far fewer. I hit the gym a few times a week, trade soda for water and tea, and vegetables are no longer foreign items in my fridge. I feel better and I enjoy my junk food way more now that it's a treat and not just Thursday night's dinner. But compare the change I made to the diets of the Victoria's Secret Angels, and my food reformation looks easy.

Because the way these girls eat — super restrictively — is probably not right for anyone who isn't prepping to be nearly naked in front of millions of people on the runway. And, of course, they have a professional at their disposal: A nutritionist named Dr. Charles Passler, famed paleo expert and the man who designs the perfect diet for each Angel.

And when Elle editor Justine Harman tried out an Angel-ready diet from Dr. Passler and described what the VS gals would typically eat, my stomach was preemptively growling just thinking about it. Their daily diets consist of tiny meal replacement bars, steamed veggies (certain ones, of course — this diet is very particular), tons of water, supplements, and protein shakes. None of this, except for maybe the vegetables, qualifies as "real food" to me. Cutting back to meals that consisted of veggies that would fit my kid's menu palate, plus proteins like grilled chicken and fish, was hard enough for me. Take away my chicken, and I would lose the will to go on.

The Angels also told Vogue that they're big fans of coconut water (really? have they tasted coconut water?), cold pressed juices, and green smoothies. Yum?

Obviously, the workout is part of it, too, and the Angels mostly rely on Ballet Beautiful classes to stay trim. The workout, created by trainer Mary Helen Bowers, promises to give those who follow its plan dancers' bodies. (Technically anyone who feels like dancing technically has a dancer's body by default, but I digress.)

The Victoria's Secret Fashion Show will air Tuesday night at 9 p.m., and hopefully we'll all be more focused on T.Swift to worry about tiny protein bars.