This is the cue for every Etsy craftsman to throw their arms up in anguish and yell "WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!" You can actually buy the "Nick Offerman Wooden Emojis" online, which may be the best news of the week so far. In addition to being the Holy Grail for any discerning pop culture-obsessed millennial on your holiday shopping list (that is, other than yourself), this gift is for a good cause.
A few weeks back, Conan ran a commercial parody featuring patron saint of lumbersexuals Nick Offerman hocking emoji sculptures carved out of solid wood. Subsequently, the show got heaps of feedback saying that everyone wanted this product to actually exist. Well, duh... of course! Our generation is genetically predisposed to love emojis. It's a whole thing.
On Monday night, Conan announced that the show would be teaming up with Tilt.com to manufacture and sell a limited-edition collection of the five wooden emoji sculptures — the smiley face, the "I love you" face, a winky face, a smiling cat, and the pile of poo. Each sculpture cost $100 each, and all of the proceeds will go to the Children's Defense Fund, a non-profit advocacy group dedicated to ensuring a "level playing field for all children."
Sadly, the emojis have sold out for the moment. [Insert: sad face wooden emoji.] But don't fret! There are reportedly more to come. Head over to Tilt.com to sign up for updates on when to expect the new batch. As you wait for those wooden emojis to replenish, you can also head over to the Children's Defense Fund website and donate today. 'Cause you don't need the added bonus of a wooden emoji sculpture to do something good this season.