Please tell me that you watched Wonder Showzen when it was TV back in the day (aka, the early 2000s). I would really like to believe that, at this point, we've all seen it. If not, hang with me because your life is about to change. Being a bit of a television addict with a penchant for incredibly dark/strange things, it's kind of a no-brainer that I eventually stumbled onto this MTV2 show and fell in love with deep, lush abandon. If you haven't seen the show, you need to immediately add it to your Internet Binge Watching line-up because it's basically the most important show that ever happened—and I'm here with a considerable amount of evidence to support my case. To be fair, I never went to law school, but I do own a TV so I am pretty sure the way you win a case is by showing excellent YouTube clips and repeatedly yelling "I'M A FIXER, OLIVIA POPE, I FIX THINGS, OBJECTION, PERMISSION TO APPROACH THE BENCH, SHONDA RHIMES". I rest my case.
For all of you sad, soon-to-be-enlightened people who aren't in the know, the show is a deliciously surreal send-up of kids shows like Sesame Street and The Electric Company. It was Tim and Eric before Tim and Eric were a thing. Here, I have brought forth some of the show's best moments in the hopes that you might clutch them to your bosom with gladness the way I do.
When Even Its Disclaimer Was Badass
A disclaimer that pretty much makes it clear that you are a monster garbage person for digging into this show? SIGN ME UP. That is pretty badass.
Anytime Trevor Opened His Mouth
I love that this show understood the true nature of children: Evil, inquisitive beasts whose inherent meanness is best harnessed and utilized as amateur journalism. TREVOR, I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU.
When Chris Meloni Spoke Out Against Cooties
Chris Meloni could do a PSA on why pizza is awesome, and I would watch it, captivated, solemnly nodding and taking notes. Getting him to speak up about the dangers of cooties makes me wish he'd give me a case.
When They Made Genocide So...Singable!
If society today has taught us nothing else (and it has not), it is that white people like myself have a history of sometimes being the worst. But rather than get overtly preachy about all the ways in which we suck, the show set their thoughts to a catchy tune. I can dig it.
When They Taught Us Where Meat Comes From
Is it wrong that the macabre cuteness of this video just makes me want hot dogs more? And, if that's wrong, is it okay to never want to be right?
When They Taught Us That Becoming a Woman Involved Churros
If my mother had sat me down as a young, newly menstruating woman, and taught me that inside of my lady-organs there lurked a churro stand, I think I wouldn't have minded all the blood and searing agony so much.
When They Introduced Us to Funny/Not Funny
Do like Tosh.0? You have "Funny/Not Funny" to thank for its existence. It's common enough now to find a video of top fails on the internet (wrote the oldest woman on the planet), but Wonder Showzen was doing it before it was really even a thing. Sometimes wince-worthy, but always entertaining, these segments rocked.
When It Asked The Tough Questions
When will tiny humans saying things we only expect to hear adults say ever not be funny? Spoil alert: Never. It will always rock.
When They Gave Us The Gift of D.O.G.O.B.G.Y.N.
I love this cartoon. It is the greatest. That said, it did instill a fear in me that I would wind up with a dog delivering my baby in Central Park. But I mean, so long as the dog in question is skilled, it should be fine right? I need to stop being so judgmental.
When It Taught Us to Reach For The Stars
When It Taught Us How Our Bodies Worked Courtesy of an Insane Murderer Slash Rapist
Oh my God, Mr. Body. He can violate you sexually with his mind. He will teach you how your lungs work by removing them from your person. He is evil incarnate. He is also named Dennis.
Image: YouTube (1)